027- Fostering Relationships

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Relationships! Kelly joins us again to talk all about building, maintaining, and starting relationships with travel sitting. Whether you're flying around the world, or driving across town, we all need healthy relationships in our lives.

As a full-time housesitter and traveler for the past decade, she’s learned a thing or two about housesitting and shares her knowledge and experience in her popular book How to Become a Housesitter: Insider Tips from the HouseSit Diva available in soft cover or Kindle at Amazon (http://amzn.to/2hlj7UP) or ebook on her web site (www.HouseSitDiva.com.

- saving relationships

- soften stresses of traveling

- enhancing relationships! 

- creating new relationships

- yes, with homeowners!

- be-friending other house sitters!

- translating online relationships to real-world ones

- common experiences  

- House sitting with friends/family

- Long distance relationships!

- using technology! 

- makes us interesting! - global viewpoints 

- intentionality 

- Ask to introduce to local owners friends!

- permission of homeowner!! 

- how do you ask for it?

- recognize the need for helping hands

- Look for homes already WITH kids to sit

- Most important one is with the homeowner!! 

- Greatest difficulty?

- intentionality! 

- long distance relationships aren't for everyone!

- Time-zones

- keeping up with emails/communications

- some times you're just BUSY

- setting communication expectations

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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

Provided by otter.ai

Collin 0:16

I'm Collin and I'm Meghan. And this is pet sitter confessional. An open and honest discussion about life as a pet sitter. Hey guys, thanks for joining us this week. We've got Kelly Hayes rate the house it diva on with us this week. Only this time we're talking about something a little different relationships, whether it's building new ones, investing in the current ones, or sitting with friends and family. We cover all that and so much more this week. We're really excited to have her on. Let's dive right in.

Kelly 0:46

Oh, thank you Collin on Kelly Hayes rate and Colleen introduced to us house it diva. Thank you for that. It's because I've written the book how to become a house sitter insider tips from the house six diva and I've been house sitting full time Traveling full time for the last 10 years. I'm just going to say right off the bat, I'm a 58 year old single woman. So I've been traveling full time since I was 48. And we're going to talk about relationships today, which is so important to housesitting. And it's one of the things that nobody ever really talks about how to create relationships when your house sitting and traveling and how to maintain relationship. Friendships when you're traveling and how sitting.

Collin 1:26

Yeah, up until now we've kind of talked about relationships in the context of building a community and getting involved with other people in an area but really, today we're talking about friendships and romantic relationships and family and one of the reasons and purposes for how sitting and traveling could be sometimes to save a relationship and kill you. You want to touch on that.

Kelly 1:54

Well, I did you know i think that traveling is something that is a very stressful for romantic. relationships, family relationships, and sometimes even friendships. I've lost a friendship with the girlfriend that I wants traveled with. And we just were not compatible travel companions. And so I think how sitting is a way to help soften the stresses of traveling. And so I'm thinking about a couple of different things here. I don't have adult children but if I did, if I if I were married, and I had a daughter and her husband and my granddaughter living in another city and I wanted to go visit them, it might be wiser for me to get a nearby houses assignment and to live off site, then it would be to live right under foot without and I think sometimes that kind of a relationship can can be saved or enhanced by living a slightly apart. The same is true for I know when I go visit my mother I have said rather than live under foot and live with her and that that gives us both space and That allows us privacy and helps us maintain our relationship better. So that's one way that housesitting can be used to help with family relationships. Now I have traveled with friends with with platonic friends both men and women. And I found that housesitting is a great way to enhance that friendship. Because we each again, we each have our private space, there's usually more space, there's a full kitchen. So there's a lot less negotiation that goes on between two people who are traveling together then if you're stuck in a hotel, and you're trying every single thing needs to be negotiated. What's your experience been like that column, you've got a family so it's a different thing for you.

Collin 3:44

Yeah, it's a little different. When my wife and I first got married, I think we had been married for all of four months before we started house sitting in our in the town that we were living at that time. And it was a very fast learning process for both of us. Newly married, we've got a lot of those dynamics going on. And then you talk about enhancing relationships. When you are in that experience with somebody else with your significant other. It's a fast track way to learning about likes and dislikes. It's also a brand new experience. So you're both experiencing something for the very first time, you're doing it for a particular purpose. And so you have those shared experiences that honestly, you know, eight years on now my wife and I look back at that time, and it was kind of stressful because we were newly married and didn't know exactly what we were doing. But we have very fond memories of that because we were learning so much together, growing together, and really tackling a lot of these challenges that came up in in working as a team at that time. The end now but really, coming together to overcome things that that happened. And we look back at that time as a as a really big building block for us. And now when we travel, and we do we do how sitting, we're doing it with kids. And that's a whole nother level of seeking out those kind of experiences. And, you know, you if, if your communication isn't really up to par with your significant other, that can make it really hard. And so it's a great place to, to learn those skills and to build those skills, so that if something comes up outside of housesitting, you kind of have those to fall back on.

Kelly 5:29

And so that's really interesting. Now that was an angle that I hadn't thought of that it's kind of you and me against the world. You're building the team, you know, making making this work for this particular house that I was house sitting to staying in a hotel, I think that it would be far more challenging for you and your newlywed wife or for you and your wife and your kids now at this stage to be living in a hotel, if you're traveling in a new place, I think provides lots more opportunities. It absolutely so forth.

Collin 5:56

It absolutely does. And so that's why we do that when we Do travel there's just some skill building that goes along with it in that you have to you know, there's it's a learning process for sure but we we don't stay in hotels when we travel that's just that's completely out of the question. It does provide more space. It provides those opportunities have a yard or much better location for travel or access to things as well. And it is a wholly new experience each and every time which is something we enjoy and we like to seek out when we have that opportunity.

Kelly 6:33

Not to mention this the benefit of the pads Yes.

Collin 6:36

Which which is always a which is a huge plus because we're not always able to travel with with our dog. You know he's a he's getting up there and he is a 12 year old oxen and he is always travel well the best these days but it is it does. It does really help with that homey feeling when you are in literally somebody's home. It allows you You to relax it is a much more comfortable atmosphere that helps build those relationships as you're you're working together for a common goal of Yes, enjoy the time traveling. But there is also that goal of caring for a house caring for a pet that you can all rally around in some difficult times to go. This is this is something that we can and have to get done while we're here.

Kelly 7:24

Hmm, absolutely. So I just turned the tables on you and I was interviewing you. Yeah. Darn it. Get for having a journalist on I know,

Collin 7:36

take notes for next time don't turn off.

Kelly 7:42

So one of the things that has enhanced my relationships as a house sitter is the friendships that I've made and I've made some great friendships with homeowners, some really terrific friendships with homeowners, but something that I think house sitters or wannabe house sitters don't necessarily think of Having an opportunity to be to be friend other house sitters. So one of the ways that that I've done that is through Facebook Facebook is amazing. But I've met a number of have made some really fantastic friendships with other house sitters through some of the house sitting groups on Facebook such as how sit world and how sitting cafe and I'll give you just give you two examples because these are both kind of fun. I met Julie online on house it world and I was how sit I posted that I was going to be house sitting in Hanoi and she emailed me we had been emailing back and forth to that she was going to be in Hanoi at the same time and we had never met face to face so we ended up going out together on a street food tour and we had so much fun and we really hit it off as friends that we ended up doing other sightseeing things together. We were house sitting in different homes, but we would get together and go out for dinner or or do some sightseeing things and it was so much fun. Later, Julie ended up house sitting in a heat Mexico where I have had a regular house sit for the last 10 years. And again, I you know, since I had been there for so long I was able to tour guide her around and show her some fun things. So we've developed a really, really strong friendship. After that, we have both met up in Cardiff bath in London in the UK. And then she invited me to come to such as Spain last year during Carnival, which was so much fun and we've developed a really strong, fun friendship that is started out of with our our love and our common interest and how sitting but has developed far beyond that. And it's a really great friendship. The other fun story I have several of these stories, but another fun stories with my friend Tracy and I met her on one of the house sitting over Facebook groups and I posted on on my personal page I posted a picture of a mosque. That was the view that I had from a particular house it that I was in in Penang, Malaysia. And Tracy commented and she said, are you how sitting for jimang the cat in Penang, Malaysia

Unknown 10:22

Wait a minute. I just met this woman you know, we just

Unknown 10:27

got here she said I recognize the view.

Unknown 10:31

husband had just bed in this exact same house it three months before me. Oh my goodness, Tracy and I like to joke around that, you know, we've slept in the same bed.

Kelly 10:43

But since then, and she and I become really good friends. And since then, she and her husband have also house sat in the heat. And at the same time that I was there, and we hit we just the three of us struck up a really great friendship. And they have since visited me and he stayed with me at the homeowner allows me to have guests and they've stayed with me in my house it in in Mexico and that's been great. And we have also connected in other parts of the world such as London and it's just really wonderful because you know we have so many things in common but it was how sitting that brought us together. Yeah so how sitting for me has helped create some new friendships deep friendships that will you know, I'm convinced will last forever I've certainly will Tracy and Julie and and friendships that have been really quite meaningful for me that just sprung from how sitting but have developed into so much more. And it's that's really exciting and that's something that really doesn't get talked about very

Collin 11:45

much. I know it because you know if your house sitting in a particular area, you know, you're probably not the only one who's ever done that or is even there at that particular time. And so using those online resources of house it world or house, a cafe Are others to reach out there and then start translating those online relationships, either into real world ones or furthering those online relationships. Because you, we all have those shared common experiences and then that deep rooted interest and love or how sitting and traveling and pet care and those things, that there's a lot to build friendships off of just just with those few topics.

Kelly 12:25

Absolutely. And it's been really enriching for me. Okay, so now we're going to get down to love on the road. Now, I said at the top of this interview that I'm 58 and I'm single, and I started online dating Ah, but I did it. And I would actually like to move to Europe, possibly London. And so I've started reaching out to men in in different parts of Europe and Primarily London, and I met my partner Marcus, who I've dated for five years, we've only recently started but we dated for five years. And we courted for how sitting now and the way that worked is he he had his home and his life. And I would find a house in in London. And it gave us a chance to just to just date even though it was a long distance relationship, it was an opportunity for us to just date normally. Oh, and that was how we got to know each other, and how we ended up falling in love and how we ended up building a relationship for five years. And it was really quite wonderful and quite unique. And then as we got to know each other better and had more of a commitment to each other he would join me on how sits so he joined me in Berlin and he joined me in Gibraltar. This is all with the permission and the knowledge from the homeowners, of course, sure, you know, this was something was done aboveboard and in other parts around the UK, we set together Part of pitching really pretty much throughout the UK. And, and it was it was really it was a fun opportunity for us to be together and to get to know each other better, but like you and your wife to have that, that shared experience of being a team working with negotiating what was happening with the home and with it with the Pats. And it was just it was a wonderful opportunity to get to know this man and and, and to develop our relationship. Yeah, and I don't think there are too many house sitters out there that use how sit against the way the court

Collin 14:34

I don't think so. But I think that is a an absolutely fascinating idea of taking the the long distance relationship idea and then just tweaking it ever so slightly of, Okay, if we're long distance here, how can we spend some time close together without one of us traveling all the way to the other or vice versa, and, you know, possibly even meeting in a third party location. You know of a new place that way you can have those shared experiences you can go see new things. And but you're you're in homes and you can have that more traditional idea of what courting looks like as opposed to being so long distance I, I never really thought of, of using it as a tool or as a way of enhancing that, that that process and really learn about somebody using how sitting

Kelly 15:26

well for me, it was an opportunity initially, to not be living with that person because oftentimes, you know, with a long distance relationships, you know, I'm going to his house, he's coming to my house, and there's a lot of pressure on him on a new, hopeful relationship when you're actually living together and it's kind of premature. So this this way, it was an opportunity for me to be living in my own space in my own flat in London, and date, like normal people. for, you know, for about six months, I had several houses that I lined up in London. And we did that for about six or eight months before we started house sitting together. And it was great because then we had a foundation that we built on and I really liked that.

Collin 16:16

Yeah, yeah. Because you again, investing in those those common interests, having those shared experiences, allow allow that to happen. Sure.

Unknown 16:27

Exactly.

Kelly 16:30

So I know you wanted to touch on long distance relationships. Oh,

Collin 16:34

yeah. Anything is kind of an echo. So yeah, so there's that idea, you know, that I think when people think of long distance relationships, you know, it is that separated by a huge gap in space and in time zones and and how, you know, when you're when you're traveling in your house, sitting like That, you know, how you can maintain those relationships despite that, that space and that time that you're dealing with away from somebody.

Kelly 17:10

Right? Well, it used to be that long distance relationships, were all about the letters going back and forth and the occasional long distance call. I'm old enough that I remember it that way. And course now we've got Skype and video chatting and email and WhatsApp and we just have all these, you know, fantastic ways to be able to develop or keep a long distance relationship. And I'm not just talking about a romantic relationship, but this is the way I keep up my friendships with my girlfriends as well. Is this through, you know, regular video chats and email and WhatsApp. And the technology has advanced so much that we really can become more global. And we really can become more into location independent and I just find that so thrilling and I think that makes me a more interesting person to date or to be friends. And I know that's what I look for in the people that I date and befriend is that kind of global viewpoint, if you will, and willingness to accept that kind of flexibility and unrooted Miss. And so it's just you know how sitting has enabled me to do that full time. Most house sitters don't house it full time, as we've discussed in other shows, but it's enabled me to do this full time and it's been just a whole new lifestyle. It's been extremely exciting for me and it's opened up just a whole not just new experiences and foreign places, or, and experiences living in people's homes and in beautiful cities. But it's created this whole new level of friendships and relationships for me worldwide that has just made my life so much richer.

Collin 18:54

Yeah, I think really leaning into technology to make it as the as possible to keep those that communication and stay in contact. The one thing about that about long distance relationships that do that is hard is that it does take a little bit more of intentionality to stay on top of them to continue to communicate with people to continue to share as you're traveling and keeping them up to date and being invested in their lives which is kind of hard when you're not seeing them face to face you just running into them at the store or at the coffee shop or things like that. But it does take a little bit more intentionality, but leaning into all of the possible technologies that are disposable these days which just makes the inch the barrier to entry so low anymore, being able to instantly share a quick video or photos of what you're doing and and being staying and staying connected with somebody while you're traveling.

Kelly 19:52

Absolutely, I like the word you used intentionality because that's something that I'm trying to bring to my life. If words intentionally trying to bring attention

Unknown 20:02

into my life. There you go.

Kelly 20:06

It's, you know, I mean, yes, there are people I run into at the grocery store and we stop and we chat. And it's really wonderful. But I don't really consider those. No, no, not to disagree with you. But for me, those aren't the most important relationships in my life, because I'm not being intentional about keeping those people in my life. Yes, it's a lot easier if it's an intentional relationship, and they're down the block, and we can get together for coffee once a week. But I can also get together with a Skype conversation and enjoy a cup of coffee or I've even enjoy I've done dates or virtually where we've sat down to dinner and we've had a long conversation over a video chat. Yeah. And yeah, it's not perfect, but it's intentional, and how sitting has given me an opportunity to come within proximity of that person, and then to be able to do that in real life, which has been great.

Collin 20:58

Yeah, it's that it's that I like the word you use there is proximity is proximity isn't just sitting shoulder to shoulder with somebody, it's, it's time spent with somebody, it's it's the, it's the discussions that are happening. And it's it's a real world transfer is a real time transfer of information between two people, it can be one definition of proximity, and that when you're facetiming, or using Skype, or you're using WhatsApp, you're able to keep your proximity with somebody really close because it's almost immediate interaction and feedback that you get from somebody, and making sure you take the time out of your day to do that, to maintain those relationships. Because we all get busy and when when traveling and in house sitting internationally, you know, there are a lot of things that can potentially distract somebody from from keeping those relationships alive and going back home, wherever that may be, or in other areas where they were, you know somebody and at the end of the day, taking some time to send updates or to Check out what other people are doing really goes a long way to making sure that those relationships are lasting and healthy.

Kelly 22:06

That's right. So there's never a better time to start housesitting or to expand your house sitting networks. Because it's so much easier these days to, to maintain those relationships that are important to us, whether they're with our kids, our parents, our family, extended family, our friendships, our love relationships, there's just endless opportunities now. And as sitting risk part is one of those key tools.

Collin 22:30

Yeah. And something that you touched on a couple times when we've talked about something you've touched on a few times now is getting permission from a homeowner to have somebody over in the house. How does that conversation with the homeowner go? And how do you talk to them about having friends family or significant other over during a house?

Kelly 22:52

Oh, that's a great question. So oftentimes, well, if I'm house sitting over the holidays, I'll just say you know I'm going to be health center alone in your home over the holidays, you've got a two bedroom place, how do you feel about my mother coming to visit me or a good or a good friend coming to visit? Or my partner if I'm if I'm in a committed relationship where my partner coming to visit? And I've been I just say to them, please be honest about your home and I want to respect your rules. And I'd like to know if this is okay with you. Most of the time people say yes, that it's fine. Sometimes people say no. And so I respect that. And I asked that I asked that during the Skype interview before I've accepted the house it and before they've offered the house set because because that may that may affect whether or not I want to take the house it so I don't do this as a as an 11th hour surprise. I do this as part of the interview process because we're both interviewing each other. So I do that then so that there are no surprises. Or I might say, you know, gee, this is my first time coming to Hanoi, and I noticed that you've got a two bedroom place and my I have a girlfriend who's going to be traveling in Southeast Asia and she was talking about coming through Hanoi, how would you feel about her coming and staying with me overnight for a few days in your home? Most of the time, people's attitude is all of these are extra hands to help love the dog. Yeah, or, you know, extra hands to extra laps for the cat. So most people are pretty much okay about that. And they also, most homeowners really want me to enjoy their home and their community and what they love about where they live. And so they recognize that having somebody to, to go to an art museum whether to go enjoy a meal with his way to enhance and enjoy the community they live in. So most most homeowners are okay about that. Some, some aren't. And that's, you know, they have their own reasons, and that's fine. Some have said to me that they want to meet the person first, which is fine. So I set up a Skype conversation with my partner or my girl And just coming, you know, whoever, you know, whoever it's planning on that trip was thinking about that trip. That's not very frequently but that happens sometimes. And that's perfectly understandable to, for me, I want the homeowner to be comfortable and I don't want them to feel like I'm going to be doing something behind their back. I'm not a teenager anymore. I don't need to sneak somebody in the back door, I can ask right up front for what I need. And be honest and open about it. And if they say no, I'm a big girl and I can go by the rules or I can go find another house set. So you know, just just work it out that way. But honestly, I think it's very important and asking and making sure that that's okay. This is a critical thing.

Collin 25:41

Yeah, asking that up front is is absolutely huge. When we travel it's kind of a can be sometimes have a bigger ask of a homeowner of I know you signed up for somebody to sit your home. What if four people actually showed up and two of them are young kids? Is that okay? That can get We ask it in a nice way. And and basically it's a, you know, the only way we will accept is if, if the homeowner is okay with having basically a small family in their home on their way. And if the pets are okay with small children, because that can be a deal breaker to we've had to turn down a few opportunities because it was the pets that were the issue of they were they were, you know, old set in their ways or or had never been around small kids and so it just wasn't really safe to all of a sudden throw a two year old and a four year old into the mix without being able to thoroughly test that or get a lot of time with the pet beforehand. So it can be a little tricky if you're if you're traveling with with small children and how sitting a pet sitting in the in that kids can kind of make things a little interesting from time to time for sure.

Kelly 26:50

Sure. And you know column the tip that I always have for people who are traveling with kids and what a house it is to look at families who are looking for house sitters Because usually those homes are best setup, they already have children. So their pets are used to children in the homes are set up for kids and the gardens and so forth. Sometimes that can be a little bit easier for for house sitters in your situation. But I think you know, I think honesty is the most important thing. And so I want to be honest with what my needs are, what my requests are right up front, I don't want to feel like I have to sneak around the house. Neighbors watching if, you know, my mother is coming and going, you know, that's, I don't need that. I mean, I think honesty is the most important thing. And that's, that's what we want to do. And that's kind of relationship I want to set. So I do ask that question up front, if indeed I am planning on having somebody is part of my experience there.

Collin 27:43

Right because it is also as we've talked about before, like this is this is a professional service done by you know, it should be done in a professional manner. And so maintain those high standards, maintaining good communication good, open and honest and frequent communication is absolutely key. Just setting those expectations and get everything out in the open so that you can work through that. And the homeowner is fully knowledgeable of what's going on in their home while they're away.

Kelly 28:09

Exactly. And this whole podcast today during Valentine's month is about relationships and maintaining and building those relationships. And the most important one, when you and I've talked about this before, the most important relationship that a house sitter has is with the homeowner. So maintaining that relationship honoring that relationship being honest about it. Is is paramount. And the housesitting lifestyle allows for all of these other really cool kinds of relationships to blossom and flourish. But it's but it's in the context of this is a great relationship that I have with my homeowner,

Collin 28:47

right? Yeah, absolutely. If the homeowner is not is not happy or suspicious or has anything going on like that. That's not that's not good for anybody involved.

Kelly 28:57

Exactly. Yeah. And yeah, So you know the last kind of relationship I forgot about this but one of the ways that I've I've developed relationships while house sitting, I'm a single woman, I tend to house it for single women who live in cities. And I've asked them to introduce me to their girlfriends, so then you know, have somebody to go out and have a glass of wine with a cup of coffee with one day or walk in the park. And I have made some really, really lovely friendships, from my homeowners, girlfriends, Wow, well, and their friendships that you know that I'm going to keep. I mean, I was just last year for the summer I was in a French island in the Indian Ocean. And my homeowner graciously introduced me to a girlfriend of hers who was a recently retired English teacher. And and I just really hit it off and we went everywhere together including snorkeling with humpback whales. It's amazing. so jealous set that up for me. I wouldn't have been able to do that on my own because it's not a full, you know, sort of commercial operation that was advertised This was live A friend of a friend kind of thing, and we had such a ball and I'm still in touch with her and I'll be in touch with her for years. She's wonderful. Hmm. So that's that's another another way that how sitting hasn't had

Collin 30:10

the relationships that I've developed her house sitting has really enhanced my life. And yeah, and you can see how the homeowner would be very interested in in opening up there is there are circles to you in that it provides good experiences for you so you're going to more likely want to come back. It also connects you with friends of theirs that can help out if you need help in certain situations. And it just it allows for more points of contact in for a better connected experience for all parties involved.

Kelly 30:41

Exactly. And you know, my homeowner knows that her friend was I don't want to say your friend was watching me but you know, I mean it was it was an opportunity for the homeowner to feel more comfortable and confident about me knowing that her girlfriend was was around a lot and and it was just a really was a win, win all the way around. And then when the homeowner came back, three of us went out and oh my goodness, we had so much fun.

Unknown 31:05

It was really great.

Collin 31:06

Yeah.

Kelly 31:08

And that's happened to me more than one since that's, that's the dynamic that's happened frequently. And it's just joyful.

Collin 31:13

Yeah. You know, absolutely. As you've traveled for the past 10 years, how sitting and caring for pets internationally, what's been some of the the hardest part about keeping relationships going or maintaining relationships? And we've talked about ways to ease them with with technology and and how these experiences enrich our lives. But what are some things that that we can try and watch out for and some difficulties that can come up?

Kelly 31:44

Well, I think for me, my greatest difficulty is is what you mentioned earlier with the intentionality. And so it's really about me, making the effort to keep those relationships going, especially for the people who are like my friend and reunion on she lives there, she's got her own group of friends. It's pretty much kind of up to me to, to stay on that relationship if I want to keep that going and and hope that she will reciprocate as well. And she has. So it's, you know, it's something where I have to really make a decision that I want to keep this person in my life and to be intentional about staying in touch with them and encouraging them to to be in touch with me and also to recognize that you know, maybe they don't want to stay in touch with me maybe they don't want a long distance friendship because their life is so full on that's fine too.

Unknown 32:37

Yeah. So

Kelly 32:38

I think you know that that's a that's a difficulty and so ash the time zones you know, I gotta tell you and sometimes the time zones could just be a killer. That's that's a challenge not insurmountable, but that's a challenge, right? I keeping up with the with emails and keeping on top of the the communications that they make Me, and in keeping that going, because sometimes my life just gets a little crazy with something going on. And it might be a travel week where I'm transitioning between how sits or I'm trying to clean up one and physically get to another and get settled in that and I might lose a day or two of staying on top of my communication, I might not actually get back to it in a timely way. And so

Unknown 33:27

how do I say this? How do I say this nicely priming my friends to realize that they might not get an answer with it? Yes.

Kelly 33:40

So, you know that that can be a challenge. But, you know, those are those are challenges I'd happily take on in order to keep some of these wonderful people in my life.

Collin 33:49

Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, you touched on there that you know, long distance relationships aren't for everyone and, and that that may include some of your own family members. You know, I know that With with my family if if we decided to travel and not have kind of a home base station, and we just had to travel full time that would strain a lot of relationships in our family just because they are there that is something that they are. They're not okay with or that is can be very difficult on people if they've ain't never had to do it or be don't know about tools and ways of managing that. And so that's where, you know if if you are the one traveling and housesitting and you're gone a lot. You may have to manage those expectations and help that person along to get over that so you can maintain that relationship. So it's a it's a learning process. And there is a learning curve on both sides of of traveling like that.

Kelly 34:41

Yeah, well said that that really is true. And I've had to get to work some of that stuff out with with my mother, who's not very technologically savvy. And in such as you know, we worked it out but but that was that was a learning curve. That was an adjustment when I first started traveling full time that Absolutely true. But it was also an adjustment for us when I moved from the east coast to the west coast. Yeah, you know, and she had to figure out, you know, renegotiate the timezone difference is like three hours, but mom had trouble with that

Collin 35:16

will get you, if you if you don't have a lot of experience with that, or if it's the first time or if it's an infrequent amount of time, those are things that just kind of slip through the cracks. And yeah, you forget or you know it. So those are just, you know, as someone who is how sitting and in traveling like that, you know, having appropriate expectations for people, you know, back home and, and helping them as much as you can, but also realizing, you know, they're imperfect systems, and we're all we're all imperfect people and so people are going to make mistakes, and that knowing that best intentions are generally there when you're trying to keep those relationships going.

Kelly 35:55

Right. Right. Well said, yeah, that's very true. So I just said so those are probably The biggest challenges that I have with my lifestyle in terms of relationships keeping relationships going but they are far outweighed by the benefits. Yeah.

Collin 36:10

Yeah, absolutely. I bet and if if people want to learn more about some of those benefits and how they could possibly get started, how can people get your get your get your book in their hands to start learning some stuff and follow along with your work?

Kelly 36:27

Okay, thank you. Well, I love to talk how sitting so the best way to reach me is through my website at www dot house sit diva.com house it diva calm. And my book how to become a house sitter insider tips from the house such diva is available as an E book and how sit diva.com or as a softcover or Kindle on Amazon. How to Become a house sitter insider tips from the house it diva and I also have developed some great new Relationships now with budding writers where I'm coaching authors, and I'm really enjoying that I'm doing some online workshops and some in person retreats. And our listeners can hear more about that. Learn more about that at jumpstart my book.org jump start my book.org. And you can sign up for a free conversation with me to talk about your book, which I love to

Unknown 37:26

do. That's a great way to start a relationship right.

Collin 37:31

There you go. If you guys have a budding book idea, Kelly can help you guys get that off the ground with that. So that's that's a great resource. Definitely. Well, Kelly, a Happy Valentine's Day I should have said at the top of the show, but appreciate you coming on today and sharing us sharing with us about how to keep relationships alive when traveling and how sitting.

Kelly 37:53

Thank you, Collin, Happy Valentine's Day to you and your wife and thank you for this budding friendship. This is pretty cool.

Collin 37:59

Thank you. You very much we look forward to having you on again soon. Kelly,

Unknown 38:02

I appreciate that.

Collin 38:04

Yes, I know, relationships and Valentine's Day. However, I do hope genuinely that you have good, healthy, honest relationships in your life, whether it's friends, family, business partners, or, or maybe even employees that you have a good rapport with. I hope that you continue to invest in those in this year, and lean on them whenever you need them. We've talked a lot about what it takes to run a successful business and what it takes to be a healthy individual mind, body and soul. And one of those is having good relationships, good accountability, a good support team. Whenever things get rough, that sitting can be so lonely at times, maybe friends might not exactly understand what you're going through. And the schedules can be really hectic, really early mornings really late at nights constantly going so you don't have a lot of time to socialize with others. So whether you have a Group text or FaceTime with people, or it's just you have one afternoon a month where you can sit down with somebody to talk with. If you don't have those kind of relationships in your life. Reach out, see what other centers are in your area, or reach out online. Hi, friend, we'd love to hear from you. One of the reasons we started this podcast was to reach out to others. Learn from them, share stories and experiences and build relationships. If you have stories or things you'd like to share, or get connected with us, send us an email feedback at pet search professional. com. Follow us on Facebook or Instagram at pet sitter confessional. We're also on Twitter, PS confessional and join our Facebook group sitter confessionals and get connected with a larger group of pet sitters as well. Just remember, you're not alone. And there's a lot of people out there going through very similar things, similar struggles. similar questions. definitely reach out if you ever need help or have questions.

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