274: Stress and Anxiety as a Business Owner
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Summary:
What do you stress about? As a business owner, you have a lot on your plate. Stress and anxiety can be a big part of running a business, but they don’t have to be! Use it as a tool to propel your business forward instead of it holding you back. We discuss the difference between fear and anxiety, some common stressful situations, and how we can start overcoming the anxiety they induce. Then, Natasha O’Banion answers, “How do I avoid paying payment processing fees?”
Topics on this episode:
Fear vs anxiety
When to get help
Common stresses in pet care
Solutions
Ask a pet biz coach
Main takeaway: Start viewing your anxiety around your business as a periodic reality check to make sure everything is ok.
Links:
Our Retreat!: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/retreat
Doing vs Dwelling Episode: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/episodes/136
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
Provided by otter.ai
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
anxiety, clients, anxious, business, pet, impacting, stress, pay, pet sitters, fear, credit card, talked, cash, prices, feelings, decisions, real, scenario, tips, sitter
SPEAKERS
Meghan, Collin, Natasha
Meghan 00:10
Hello, I'm Meghan. I'm Collin. And this is Pet Sitter confessional and open and honest discussion about life as a pet sitter. You are listening to Episode 274.
Collin 00:22
That's a lot Hello.
Meghan 00:25
I always say hi. So I thought I'd try something different. I like it. Okay. We want to thank our sponsor, pet sitters Associates, and our awesome Patreon members, we just we have a new one this week. Liz,
Collin 00:38
thank you so much for joining our Patreon and supporting the show, it really means a lot.
Meghan 00:44
If you would like to learn more about how to support us every month with just the price of a cup of coffee, you can do so at petsitter confessional.com/support. We've been talking about it for a couple of weeks now. But we are doing a business retreat and personal retreat in Kansas City at the end of August, August 26 through 28th. And we are super excited about it,
Collin 01:05
we finally have a location. It's a beautiful bed and breakfast kind of easy access to lots of different things. We've got some yoga planned and lots of stuff going on that weekend. So if you want to get signed up for that, and start learning more about what exactly we're doing, and everything involved in that, you go to pet sitter confessional.com/retreat.
Meghan 01:25
We hope you can join us we know of several other pet sitters also going and we are really looking forward
Collin 01:31
to it. Yeah, can't wait to meet everybody and to work on our businesses. Like you said, over the past
Meghan 01:35
270 Something episodes, we have talked a lot about different topics. And something we haven't really talked about is anxiety and fear in petsitting. So the world has a lot going on. Don't know if you've noticed lately, yeah. Always, always a lot going on. But as a business owner, we have a lot of extra things on our plates that the average person doesn't. So you may even be experiencing some anxiety right now, with everything going on with wars, the economy, even just your own personal life, there's always so much going on.
Collin 02:09
Before we continue on with this topic. It is very important that you know that Megan and I are not doctors, we're not medical doctors. And we are not talking specifically in this episode about anxiety disorders. So on that anxiety is a normal human emotions a normal reaction to our feelings and things that are going on in our life. Anxiety disorders, on the other hand, often persist for long periods of time, and generally don't go away on their own even when you try to address them. So if you feel like you're constantly plagued by anxieties, and it's impacting your daily life, we really want to encourage you to go and seek out help today, because there's about 20% of US adults experience symptoms of an anxiety disorder during any given year during for whatever reason. And for unknown reasons, right now, women tend to experience these symptoms more than men do. So again, if you're having symptoms of fear and anxiety that have become unmanageable, that's really important here, you really do need to make an appointment with your doctor to start talking with him about those things. And one step further, is that if you're really struggling with this, if you're really struggling with anxiety, and you have fears that are impacting you to the point where you're not sure if you can handle them or take them anymore, please write this number down. 1-800-662-4357 start getting information and support and treatment facilities. In your area.
Meghan 03:43
We do use the term anxiety a lot, we see fear and anxiety used almost interchangeably all the time. But fear is the result of a threat or an impending danger. The danger is very real, our body undergoes near instantaneous physical reactions designed to help us escape danger. It's like the fight or flight thing. So your heart starts to raise your breathing becomes shallow. So this physical response is one very important difference between fear and anxiety. So if you walk into a client's home and the dog suddenly lunges for your face, or you see a person standing in the kitchen, that danger is real. It is it me it feels immediate. So anxiety, on the other hand, is a word that we use when there's a thought of a threat. So not necessarily an immediate danger or an immediate threat, but something that may happen in the future. So while these terms do feel like they're similar anxiety is really a reaction to emotions instead of danger in the environment. For example, you are walking up to a house and you're thinking about what if somebody is inside or what if the dog lunged at you? There's no real threats to you, but you're just thinking about it in your head. That would be anxiety.
Collin 05:00
So even though there's no real, imminent threats to you, or danger to your personal well being, you start to worry that something bad may happen. And again, we experienced similar reactions to that actual fear, your heart starts racing, your breathing becomes short and shallow, your muscles start to tense up. And it's important to note here that both fear and anxiety induce stress on your body. All this reaction we're talking about there, this physiological and physical response to these feelings and these emotions, these situations that is stressful on your body. It's important to also know here that our bodies are not meant to experience prolonged stress.
Meghan 05:37
Obviously, when your body when you stress out so much, you have so much anxiety, potentially fear and you get sick that has happened to me, sometimes Am I basically make myself sick because I am so worried about something
Collin 05:51
hormones get thrown out of whack, your immune system gets suppressed, through muscle tension, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, all of those will impact you in the long run. If you continuously experience them, they will impact your health in every way, shape, or form. And it's all from your body's inborn fight or flight stress response to help you survive. Your body doesn't know that just the thought of a Tiger Leaping out of the shadows is any different from actually being attacked by a tiger. And so it responds in the exact same way. And so living in constant fight or flight means your entire physiological and mental state are changed. So we're going to do our best to use the terms anxiousness and anxiety today, as opposed to fear because we're talking about emotions and thoughts and perceived dangers as opposed to real and imminent ones in our lives.
Meghan 06:45
So right now, we want to talk about some of the common stressors that pet care business owners deal with. And the first one is pricing. So to raise your prices, not raise your prices, tell owners not tell owners, what is really driving this, we are anxious about our prices, because we think that people will leave us we kind of build it up in our heads of, we won't have any money. And we're going to wake up tomorrow, and everybody's going to say no, I don't want my dog walked or No, I don't want my cat sat anymore, and that we're going to lose everything. That's simply not true. And that's not the way it works. But that is what we think that is what we stress about in our heads before we send the price increase letter or before we raise our prices on our website.
Collin 07:27
And there's a lot of other things that can be tied in here to you know, making you said, at the end of that is we'll lose everything. Well, why is that fearful? Why are we are we anxious about that? Why do we stress out about that? Well, we could be, we could be scared of being a failure being viewed as a failure by people being judged by others in our business for not being successful, it could be that we are anxious about being able to provide for our family that we aren't able to do the things that we want to do in business. So there are a lot of core principles here that as we drill down with each one of these big topics, it's gonna be really important for you, the listener here to figure out what is driving your anxiety, what is stressing you out about this? And why is this different from fear? Well, it's because again, as we talked about, fear is from an imminent danger to your well being. If we break it down, there is nothing that is going to harm you physically about raising a price by $1. There's just not. Now that doesn't mean it's not rational to still be nervous and worried about that. But we are anxious about that. And that stresses us out because of the other ramifications that may come along with it and the idea that that could happen. And that's why it's stressful and anxious to us.
Meghan 08:41
The next anxiety in pet care is competition. We don't see our fellow dog walker down the street as a collaborator and as a fellow professional, we see them as taking business away from us, we are anxious that we won't have enough clients to make the money that we need to to pay our bills.
Collin 09:00
Yeah, the clients there are a resource to us, we view them as a resource, an item to collect like squirrels collecting nuts for winter, and we want to have enough of them so that we are secure. It's a scarcity mindset. And it helps people survive all of the time making sure we have enough resources around us and a food in the pantry and have gas in our cars. But when it comes to clients in our business that impacts us relationally to other pet care professionals that impacts us relationally to our clients when we start viewing them as items. So instead of people that's a weird interaction to have, and it impacts our relationship that we have with other dog walkers, pet sitters, other businesses in our areas, because we start keeping them at arm's length, instead of bringing them into community and sharing resources, which eventually which actually helps everybody in the long run
Meghan 09:51
well in realizing that there are really enough dogs to be walked out there. There's really enough cats to be sad or snakes to be fed whatever it is Is there are enough acorns for you to have for the winter? Right? Exactly. There is enough for everybody really there is,
Collin 10:06
I know a big thing that keeps me anxious a lot is missing an alarm, that I will miss it alarm, I'll sleep through an alarm or I'll miss one in the middle of the day, I will miss a something I miss a visit basically. And so what what am I anxious about this for? Well, I'm anxious that the pet won't get the care that they need. And then the client will be angry, and then they'll leave us or they'll leave a bad review. Yeah, so my business will be impacted, I won't have enough clients. And I will have let myself down for the quality of care that I know that I really strive for. And so this is a great example of how many things that make us anxious or that we feel anxious about are actually multifaceted. So in this example, the client will leave us and there's a scarcity mindset, there's the they'll leave us a bad review. So my business will be impacted, I'll be viewed as a failure. And then I have let myself down by not living up to my standards. So there's some personal things that can come into play here.
Meghan 11:01
Well, and also the pet as well, we don't want to let the pets down either, we want to provide them the best care, and obviously the owner because they're the one paying us but we have a passion for animals. That's why we're doing this in the first place, which goes
Collin 11:13
into another one that I know that many people are anxious and stressed out about is a pet escaping or being injured. And there were anxious about the the being alone and being afraid and ate and scared. And the client being obviously angry or concerned towards us. And maybe we're getting out about us, again, impacting our business, and that all of this kind of eventually comes down to we won't have money to live and do the things we want to anymore because of this incident. So we start kind of chaining each of these events together in a somewhat coherent logical fashion in our brains, linking the chains from a pet escaping to my business closing down and everybody thinking that I'm a failure. It's a very quick road for that, especially for us as entrepreneurs and people who are passionate about pets,
Meghan 11:58
a big one for us that we dealt with a few months ago, and even still now is hiring. Oh, that one. Yeah. So anxiety when thinking about hiring or when you bring on staff anxiety that they're not going to show up one day, or they're going to ghost you or they're going to take your clients or there's a million different scenarios, but just having that anxiety, but looking at your goals and realizing is this something I need in order to get me closer to my goal to do it, then you just have to do it. And you have to trust in your hiring process.
Collin 12:29
And so the foundational issue there is we're anxious because we don't trust we don't believe that it's possible. And I'm not saying that is that if you if you just believe enough, you have enough gumption, then the clients are going to love the staff and your staff are going to be amazing because things happen. But it's not trusting yourself to have put in good procedures. It's not trusting yourself enough to make that gut decision, which I know is something that actually Megan and I are going through right now we're trying to make that gut decision call after reviewing everything. And seriously doubting yourself after you've told somebody yes or after you've told somebody No, at the end of the day, understanding that you can look at as much information as you can, as much variation as you need to make that good decision and then move forward with it. And trust that things will work out and put things in place to help you
Meghan 13:16
because you've have a plan you've prepared for this exactly. Another anxiety that we deal with is taking time off. What's that? Once in a blue moon activity?
Collin 13:27
Well, that's a good point to remind of why we decided to do this business retreat and personal retreat for us was to schedule that in and commit to doing it. And by publicly telling all of you listeners, we kind of have to do it now.
Meghan 13:39
You're holding us accountable. So thank you. But yeah, so taking time off, you know, my clients are not going to come back to me if I refer them out to another sitter, I'm letting them down. I need to be saying yes to them every time I don't like saying no, I feel guilty for taking time to myself when I should be serving the pets and the clients. So sometimes our feelings are rational. And sometimes they are not. Because as we have talked about before, when we took a weekend off our client, most of our clients said, hey, that's great. You guys haven't taken time off in a long time. Where are you going? We're excited for you. So it's sometimes we build these things up in our heads. Because we are a relationship business and we want to keep our clients happy. But at the end of the day, we need to do what's best for us. And if that means taking time off and having a little bit of self care, we need to do that.
Collin 14:32
And again, recognizing where that anxiety comes from about taking time off again, a multifaceted one here. We're anxious because we feel like we're letting people down. We're anxious because we feel guilty that we're doing this we're putting our clients in a situation where they're going to have to find somebody else or we have to refer them somewhere else and then anxious again about maybe Oh, what if they go somewhere else? And they leave me forever then my business crumbles, and nobody else. I mean, it sounds a little ridiculous whenever we've vocally and we express them in words, but Those are the thoughts that run through everybody's head when this happens, right? It's okay.
Meghan 15:04
Well, and actually, I was in therapy many years back and my therapist had actually said, Okay, let's go ahead, and I don't I don't even remember what the scenario was. But it was okay. Let's go ahead and catastrophize. I think I said that correctly, John, thank you. It's a hard word for me to say catastrophize. This scenario, so I don't know what it was. But we just took it to the nth degree of like, I would say, Okay, this is the situation and she would say, Okay, what if this happens? And I would answer and she said, Okay, what if the next thing happens, the next bad thing happens. And we would just keep kind of going down the track of this of okay, and this next bad thing, and the next big thing, and eventually, we would end up to some really bad scenario. And she's like, okay, that is very unlikely to happen. What we've just done is mapped out the the bad, the worst case scenario, and that's very unlikely to happen. But you know, exactly what you would do in these bad case scenarios. So it kind of helped me, in a weird way, it helped me to see, okay, this is not as bad as I making this. And if it were to go down this bad road, I know how I would handle it.
Collin 16:14
Because again, as you line out that pathway, what you're doing is you're going this is what my brain is doing behind the scenes that I might not always realize. And so when I say well, I don't know where these fears are coming from, by doing it in a linear fashion, like you talked about negative catastrophizing, the situation and quote, unquote, following the logical conclusion of where we're headed, you can see and once you start seeing things in black and white in front of you, your your, your, your higher level processing kicks in and is able to look at that and go, Okay, I see that now. And then we can start rationalizing a few of these things. And we start living stop living in the irrational fear. Because lot times the irrational fear comes from the I don't know, I don't know what's going on what's happening. I'm confused. We line it out, we make it real plain and simple. And then we can look at that go, Okay, actually, no, this totally makes sense. And that process is is especially important when we look at it and anxiety here that I know I really struggle with is and anxiety about choices and decisions, because any given day, there are probably 1000s upon 1000s of decisions that you have to make as a business owner. And it can be extremely overwhelming. The right software saying yes or no to a client. Do I go to a local event? If I go to the local event? What color will my fliers be? How will I put a banner up? Those decisions can sometimes freeze us in place as we have an anxiety around how to move forward and am I making the right choice in this moment. And as we compound the choices compounds, the decisions that I'm required to make, they spiral out of control, and I'm overwhelmed with the possibilities. I mean, I have friends who do construction, and they're in building and I am in awe of how they are able to operate in any capacity picking paint color, let alone making an entire design coherent when I stare at my paint my wall colors and I can't even begin to decide how I would move forward with deciding what would be a good color for that. So sometimes, in this when we are stuck in this loop of being overwhelmed by my decisions, sitting down and doing my research, helping to get connected to people who can speak into my life, who can give good information, give good advice is one of the best things that we can do.
Meghan 18:29
Well, and if you are like Colin, we actually did have an episode back on one 136 It was doing versus dwelling. And at some point, that's exactly what you're just talking about. At some point, you have to like it's good to dwell. But at some point, you just have to do it and realize that Done is better than perfect. So that's episode 136. If that is you?
Collin 18:50
Yeah. Well, it's along the way, it's really important to know right now that your feelings about each one of those scenarios that we lined out in a myriad of others that we don't have time to cover here. Your feelings about those are totally valid, because I don't know if you know this or not, but feelings are real you how you feel about competition, how you feel about raising your prices, those are real and those are valid. Now the questions that you have to ask yourself now is now that I feel this way, what do I do? What's my next step? Given my feeling right now?
Meghan 19:28
One of those things is how do I use this moving forward? How do we use this to fuel us so that we can keep going, we can turn the anxiousness into action. So the flight or fight response is induced by anxiety, it means that our heart is pumping and our breathing is faster and we are ready to work. If you're worried and stressed about a pet escaping, you can ask yourself, Is there anything I can do about that right now? Maybe a new policy or procedure or a new training, making sure you You always lock the door as soon as you enter the house. But realistically in this exact moment, what do you have action and agency over? Thinking about those things is important. Something you don't have to stress about is insurance with pet sitters associates. As pet care professionals, your clients trust you to care for their furry family members, and pet sitters Associates is here to help. for over 20 years they have provided 1000s of members with quality pet care insurance. Since you work in the pet care industry. You can take your career to the next level with flexible coverage options, client connections and complete freedom and running your business. Learn why pet sitters Associates is the perfect fit for you and get a free quote today at Pet sit llc.com. You can get a discount when joining by clicking membership Pet Sitter confessional and using the discount code confessional at checkout to get $10 off, check out the benefits of membership and insurance once again. At pets@llc.com.
Collin 20:52
We have talked about the difference between fear and anxiety. We've gone through many of the common stresses and anxious moments that happen in a pet business owners life. But how do we actually move forward? What can we do to start taking steps away from living a life of anxiousness and stress? Well, the first one is to recognize that your anxiety is real. Like I mentioned earlier, your feelings are real. One of the worst things that you can do is to try and ignore what you're afraid of denying fear and anxiety exists doesn't help you conquer it and actually can cause you to make poor decisions. Because you'll be ill prepared when faced with the actual problem at hand. Instead, acknowledge that that anxiety is there, acknowledge that those things are stressing you out and explore where it's coming from sit down and take some time to write it out. catastrophize figure out if you had a history or something or a memory from times past where you were worried about these kinds of things. And many times bringing your fears bringing your anxieties fully into the light, putting it on paper, saying it aloud will actually start to remove some of the power that they have over you.
Meghan 22:04
After you have acknowledged that it's real. Use the anxiety as a check in on reality. So you've admitted to yourself that you're anxious, you are now taking a closer look at what is causing you to be afraid. Do you worry that the client you say no to will stop using your business entirely, or that your business loan is going to be rejected by the bank. Those outcomes are entirely possible. And they are all valid concerns. But instead of letting the worry about what may happen, dictate the decisions that you make, we really need to analyze the possibilities and use it to create a best and worst case scenario that you can live with. And let that drive how you decide to act. So instead of catastrophizing it to the nth degree and saying oh, that's never going to happen, I can't possibly live with that situation, figure out a scenario a good scenario that is that you would like to happen and maybe not so great scenario, but still one that you can live with.
Collin 23:03
Well, that's where that check in on reality comes in is that if we are only ever focused on the negatives, we will never see the positives. And so by looking at and catastrophizing it out to the worst possible case scenario, what you then do is turn it around and make the best possible case scenario and figure out what that pathway looks like. Because you know, it's going to fall somewhere in between, but it's going to help keep you again, this is what we're trying to do is balance out these irrational anxieties, these irrational stresses in our lives, and try and making them more a little bit more rational as we look at them.
Meghan 23:38
You could also try turning the anxiety on its head. So anxiety is often a case of perception, or how you view the potential negative outcome of a situation. But if you adjust your opinion of what may happen, you can start to see the positives to even a worst case scenario. So for example, the client leaves you when you say no, well, that proves that he wasn't an ideal client and your business is likely better off without him and going to be replaced with an even better client,
Collin 24:06
which is something we literally say all the time because it's totally true. But it's still you start saying that in viewing it in that light, you'll never believe it. We also need to accept and let this anxiety slow us down. So no, I'm not talking about letting the anxiety the stress stop you completely. But it is okay to pause and consider the things
Meghan 24:28
it'll really take the pressure off to using the time to reflect and not have our worries really get us down
Collin 24:34
that sometimes one of the best ways to use that anxiety is actually to let it exist for a little bit. Let it sit with us for just a short period of time and take that means we were taking a break from trying to beat it. We're taking a break from stressing about the stress and we're just kind of letting it be we're giving us time to reflect on it. How is it impacting us? What if that were true? How will I move forward from this? This may not reach you have your worries instantaneously. But it can give you a much clearer head and a new focus as you work on getting past it. So again, just taking time to reflect, to feel those feelings to feel those emotions, those are totally fine. It's totally okay to feel those things. If the question is always then okay, what do I do next. And sometimes we have to sit with it for a little bit before we know how to move forward. Well, and
Meghan 25:23
sometimes that means also seeking help, right? So we talked a little bit about this in the beginning. But if you are finding that your life is ruled by anxieties, you may need to go see a doctor, get on some medication, go to therapy, talk to a friend, anything, do some self care, anything that is really going to get you connected with a great support group or release some of the stress that it it helps,
Collin 25:46
yeah, sometimes the best kind of self care is getting help from other people. And we don't talk about that enough. So self care includes a lot of things, it's giving you time giving you space, it's taking breaks, it's saying no, it's also knowing when to say yes to help, and bring people into your life who can help you with these things. And that's totally okay. You may
Meghan 26:05
even seek out the help of a professional business coach, and one that we know of is Natasha opionion. And she is going to answer the question, should I avoid paying payment processing fees?
Natasha 26:16
No. No. So I only take credit cards, I do not take checks, do not take cash for just functioning reasons. Like if you were trying to build out a business and you're accepting checks for who's gonna go pick up those checks, who's gonna put those checks in the bank? It's fine when it's just you and a couple of clients. But now with every single client is writing you a check or sending you cash. How do you prove the payables and receivables? Like it's just too complicated. Clients also just prefer to work with businesses that use credit card, it's perceived that they're more credible, they're more legitimate. Those are the perception in the clients mind, a credit card fee, all you do is offset that in your rates, clients are more than happy to pay an additional charge know when they can use a credit card. No one has ever said at any company that I'm just going to add McDonald's or I always like to talk about the smaller price items, because those are the ones we can marginalize fast. But if I go to McDonald's, and I'm like, Well, you guys don't want to you pay credit card fees. So now it's cash only in here. Like how much would that change the experience that I always had to have cash on me in order to use that business?
Collin 27:26
Well, and to just from a business operating perspective, when you have their card on file, and they make changes to their travel schedule, or they start requesting complicated stays and visits or adding on services, you're not having to then wait for them to pay you. You can charge it right then and then that becomes part of your process as well. Yeah,
Natasha 27:48
I mean, people who love cash, and that's just the way they want to do it, that's fine. But even for me, I'm more likely to give a larger tip, I'm more likely to pay for more, I'm more likely to buy more things from you. If I can quickly use a credit card. A fluent buyers like to get points. So people who really make money and know how money works on a financial side, we pay in points because we know that using this card is going to provide us other opportunities on the back end. If you start taking those things away from clients, and now they have to go to the ATM or get cash out for you, they're going to be least likely to use your business. No one's really, you know, doing transactions with cash anymore just because it's so cumbersome. So you want to take that out of the experience. And just like you said, you can't cancel or charge them if they don't pay, you can't put them on a monthly recurring subscription. If you don't have their credit card, I would never take a client if I do not have subscription payments in advance, or they did not already pay for the pet sitting service before they left town. There is no Oh, the money's going to be on the calendar. Now I have to leave my house to come to your house to see cash on the calendar to then confirm that I'm going to move forward, that would never happen. So, so many reasons that we've talked about before did not use cash. Now they want to tip I allowed cash and tips. And I let my clients know in an email, that's our onboarding process. Tips are appreciated via your credit card tips are distributed equally throughout our entire team. That means the back end of VAs everyone gets the tips within their salary. So you're going to put a tip on the credit card that means you understand that I have calculated the tips that are coming in and I'm allowed to pay a living wage down but no, I'm not going to go through and say Betty 10. Collin five Susie two now, whatever our clients tips, is going to be contributed throughout their salary as a living wage. So I can pay $20 versus 17 Because there's a certain amount of tips that I know is going to come into the business. Now if you want to individualize your tips to a specific sitter, please get an envelope, put their name on it and put the cash inside the envelope and that will go directly to the person you prefer. And that's our cash process.
Meghan 30:15
If you would like to join Natasha's membership group, you can do so at start scale sale.com and use the code P SC 20. For 15% off. If you would like to join us in Kansas City and August and learn more about what that means, you can go to petsitter confessional.com/retreat. And we will send you more information. We hope this has been helpful. And if you ever have anxiety about anything, please reach out to us. We'd be happy to help you work through your problems in your pet business or even in your personal life. Yep.
Collin 30:42
And we'd love to hear how you deal and cope with stress and anxiety in your own life and what kind of things have worked for you. We really want to thank our sponsors, pet sitters associates and our amazing supporters on our Patreon for making today's show possible and we wish you all the best and we'll be back again soon. Thank you
