472: Tuning Out the Noise of Opinions from Others
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Who are you allowing to speak into your life and business? As a business owner, there are a lot of people who have opinions about what you do and how you do them. There is a lot of advice out there that clutters up our brain space and processing abilities, which can lead to decision fatigue and an incoherent approach. Instead of following the whims of other people, we have to tune out the noise by quieting our own life to better recognize the irrelevant advice from others.
Main topics:
Where noise comes from
How do I know what the noise is?
Discerning what to listen to
Main takeaway: Be you and let your uniqueness define your business, because nobody else will do things the way that you do.
Links:
Episode 470: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/episodes/470
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
Provided by otter.ai
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
opinion, noise, business, advice, pet sitters, business owners, assess, tuning, clients, give, person, worth, associates, people, pet, pet sitter, genuinely, weight, inputs, speaking
SPEAKERS
Collin, Meghan
Meghan 00:00
Oh hello, welcome to petsitter confessional. I'm Meghan.
Collin 00:05
I'm Collin.
Meghan 00:06
Thank you for joining us today. Thank you also to pet sitters associates for sponsoring today's episode and our lovely Patreon members, people like Jennifer Teresa, Katie Savannah, Adriana, Doug, Jack and Jeanne Thank you very much for finding value in the show, for helping to keep it going. And for supporting us, we love what we do, and we appreciate your support. on Episode 478, we discussed that you should not let your learning stop you from doing things we feels like we're always constantly learning and needing to then implement those things in order to free up more brain space and know exactly what we've been learning. It doesn't matter whether you are learning or on the doing side, there's a lot that gets in our way, specifically, in our businesses, there's all this noise that creeps up that we kind of have to push down and really focus in order to accomplish the things that we need to everybody seems to have an opinion on how you do things, or how you should run things in your business. Not all of those people are correct, or you should listen to. But these days, everybody has an opinion, they all think that their opinion is correct, and that you should follow their advice and what they've done because it's gospel basically. But that is not healthy.
Collin 01:17
And what's not healthy about it is the credence that we give to every single opinion that is spoken or written or thought about us. Not all of those deserve an equal weight. It's especially detrimental to us when we are so hyper connected on Facebook, on Instagram or so all quote unquote online, where everybody's opinion appears to us in the exact same fashion. And it is hard to to, to tease out exactly which one we should listen to or or whose should rise above the rest. So the unhealthy matter comes with us getting weighed the same way to everything that comes across our desk or across our phone, when it should not be that way. And it becomes noise when the only thing that we have going around in our head are the opinions and the advice the input from other people instead of our own.
Meghan 02:11
But there are people that may have a genuine concern for you like friends and family. So with their opinions about your business and how you run things, or what you choose to do with your business, it is important to weigh their opinions and see, is this something that they have they they are looking into my life and genuinely see that maybe I am overworking myself and I do need to reassess and and look at my priorities, or is it? Well, they just you know, friends and family, they just may they have a genuine concern for me, but they just may not understand the industry of this is why I need I need to do things a certain way. Because in this industry is a little different. And that's just how we do things.
Collin 02:54
That makes the entire discussion of tuning out the noise. very nuanced in that how do we define the noise? Who are the people we're going to listen to? What advice are they trying to give us? What opinions are necessary for us? Where are we at in our walk and in our business? And in our life? All of those things have to be taken into careful consideration, would we define what noise is for us, because they do genuinely care about you. And they might not understand exactly why you're making all of those decisions. And so taking the time to explain that to them, helping them understand at least a little bit is worth our time and effort. The problem really comes in when the noise from them their opinions what they're speaking into when they stopped listening to you. And they continue to tell you how to run your business without taking the time and opportunities to understand why you do what you do. That gets really dangerous when all of a sudden we start listening to people who have no idea what it means to run a dog walking and pet saying business about dogs running a dog walking and pet sitting business. But we still need to have those people in our life who can speak to our mental well being or when they see us being burned out or when they see us going down dark or dangerous paths in our lives. We that is so critical to us. And that is noise that we don't want to turn out. It's the noise from those undue or unnecessary opinions that people have in the way we do things.
Meghan 04:17
And maybe that takes something as simple as explaining your long term goals to them say, Hey, I am doing this thing because in five years, I won't need to do this thing anymore. I have this long term goal that I need to hustle and grind for a little bit but I know that it's going to be worth it in the end. Dave Ramsey has that saying that you live like no one else knows that you can live like no one else later. Even if you're talking with the smartest person in the room who has done this a million times before. It's not necessarily healthy to go with their way of doing things just because they're the suppose an expert in the room. You really need to figure out what's going to work for your business. There's again a lot of noise out there. There's noise of clients, they tell you oh I don't like this policy. Why do you do it this way, you should do it this way. Instead, my way you should run your business the way that I think you should. This comes up a lot with our policies and procedures, maybe clients don't like that your deposit is 50%, they would rather pay at the end of their visits. Well, that's not how you do things. And
Collin 05:16
the noise that can come from clients is particularly insidious, because we ourselves are supposed to be serving them. And so it can be tempting at times to give into the what they're trying to tell you or to give what they say a lot more weight than other people, because we don't want to upset them. We don't want to make them mad. They they do pay our bills at the end of the day. So shouldn't we listen to that noise? And Megan, just like you said, the answer is, sometimes it really is because it depends on what they're speaking to. And what they're trying to get from you, it can easily turn into a manipulative tactic can easily turn into an abusive tactic, as well, because you control your business. Now, that doesn't mean we can't take feedback from our clients. I mean, we get feedback from clients all the time about policies, procedures, what would happen if you did it this way, what happened, if you did it that way, we take all that in and we assess. And a lot of times we go well, thank you for your feedback. At this time, we're not looking to make any changes or at the time that it's not going to work for us. But we're going to think about that for the future, what that would look like for us. So it's that noise where all of this, it can come from places of of good, or we can perceive that or want to serve people. But it can also be extremely detrimental to us, especially when we have people who are trying to tell us how to run things,
Meghan 06:38
then there's the noise of other business owners. And while it is good to support others, and uplift others, it can get very daunting and overwhelming when you start comparing your business to somebody else's. I think
Collin 06:52
this commonly plays out when people are talking about services or how to offer services, business owners will have a lot of opinions about how to structure an overnight or an almost overnight or how to structure a dog walk versus a cat sitting visit versus a whatever, whatever. But especially for people who have been there, quote, unquote, been there, done that they want to tell you how they've done it or what's been worked for them. But that doesn't always work for us. And people have very strong opinions about what's worked for them, because it's what worked for them. And this even goes to business owners who are outside of the industry. I know we in our own business have encountered a lot of people who run their own businesses or work for large businesses. So they're business owners, and they have opinions about like our onboarding process of how they would say, well, we would never do it like this in our business or this, if you really want to grow, this is what you need to do to get there. And we have to take that big step back and go, well, this person is telling me something for a reason. Why is that? Are they frustrated? Are they genuinely trying to help? Are they trying to get past this quickly? Are they trying to hurt me because of something that happened? That that all of that processing has to take each time somebody gives their opinion to us? We have to understand, okay, this person is telling me this for a reason. Is it relevant? To me, given the reason that they're saying this? Yeah,
Meghan 08:15
it's really about that assessment phase of, okay, this person has an opinion about my business or me, how valuable do I want to make this? How much weight? Do I want to have this in my business? This is something that I agree with, that I don't agree with, maybe I can see their point of view a little bit, or maybe it's been glaring at you for a long time. And now this is the fifth person who has said this to you. And you're like, Okay, finally, yes, I will make this change. I see it now. It's clear. So you have to see if it is for you, because part of tuning out the noise is tuning out the irrelevant opinions of this is not going to work for me this person, they may mean very well. But that's just not going to work for me. So I need to put that off to the side put it in a bucket of not not pertinent to me. No, thank you. Yeah, no, thank you. And move on. In
Collin 09:04
this one is particularly hard, we have to work this muscle a lot, because the noise for the irrelevant opinions from other business owners, that comes up a lot, especially when we are intentionally trying to network in business owner settings. When we go to those Chamber of Commerce events, when we go to those willing Million Cups, presentations, when we go to those business after hours or whatever you're going to when you are putting yourself into that situation. We're basically stepping up to the plate going, Okay, give me your opinion of what I do. Because we all have to say okay, what do I What do I do? How do I do it? How long are we doing it? Oh, well, people will have opinions and the muscle of being able to assess what's relevant. What's irrelevant, is something that we have to build over time instead of like we talked about earlier, instead of holding each opinion that comes to you of equal weight, equal value or equal worth. That's where this whole thing becomes really toxic and we become inundated with noise of opinion because we can't do CRN what's good and what's not. Which
Meghan 10:02
leads us right into talking about marketers and advertisers because they, I feel like they call us on a weekly basis or send us an email of, hey, we have this sponsorship opportunity for you. Are you interested in this and it's everything from sponsoring a youth baseball team to golf to race
Collin 10:21
car, we got a pitch for a race car recently have a look at this opportunity before you but the noise of being sold to as a business owner, this we are especially sensitive to this of the sales pitches for how to do the latest and greatest are the sales pitch of what's going to be the next best thing for you or to get that instant success or that sales pitch to join the chorus or take this thing or enroll in this program or, or to get you to where you need to go again, this kind of snake oil salesman kind of mentality of all you have to do is invest this thing, and then you can move on, that comes at us from so many angles of the noise of pitching us to do something else to do another thing to elevate our business to take it to the next level. And that I just think of the number of like radio advertisers who have contacted us, newspaper, advertisers, coaches, all sorts of stuff come in, and they want your attention, they want your money they are looking to you. And that is noise that we we have to see, is this a valid point that they are trying to make? Or is it not because otherwise, again, we're just going to be throwing our money after every single person who comes and asks for it will because they told us it was going to work. And then we have no money and we have no attention. And we have no business.
Meghan 11:45
Before we continue. We'd like to talk to you about pet sitters associates. As pet care professionals, your clients trust you to care for their furry family members. And that's why pet sitters Associates is here to help. for over 20 years, they've provided 1000s of members with quality pet care insurance. Because you work in the pet care industry, you can take your career to the next level with flexible coverage options, client connections and complete freedom in running your business. Learn why pet sitters Associates is the perfect fit for you and get a free quote at pets@llc.com. You can get a discount when you join by clicking membership Pet Sitter confessional and use the discount code confessional when you go to checkout, check out the benefits of membership and insurance once again, at pets@llc.com. Again, it's that value that you want to place on this thing that you are either giving your money to or giving your time to which you can never get back, or taking their opinion and implementing it in your business. When we talk about trying new things in our business. We've had a couple episodes on experimenting and doing it well in your business. We talk about the phase of assessing it when you try something new, you start small. And then you do the thing. And you assess afterwards you say was this successful? What are my metrics for it being successful? And did it hit the mark? Or did it miss the mark? The same thing goes here, you have to assess the opinions of others the things that they want you to participate in or give money to or give volunteer time to you have to say is this worth it to me? Or is this not for right now?
Collin 13:13
Right? Because whether it comes from a client, friend and family, other business owner or a marketer or coach or someone else like that, regardless of who the opinion comes from they are they are basically placing a demand on you, on your time, on your attention on your business on your personal well being and mental capacity, they are placing a demand on you. And a lot of times, that's a demand that we just unknowingly pick up. When our daughter was younger, she would come into the room and I actually I probably steal this to do this to you Megan of if when I need something thrown away, I'll sometimes just hold it out and see who picks it up and takes it from me, right? Because I'm being lazy. I'm not I'm being selfish in those moments. I'm not honoring those around me, I just hold out the trash and wait for somebody to pick it up. Or do you see that all the time. This is what the people are doing when they have are giving you an unwarranted unmerited opinion or advice. They're holding out a piece of trash and they're waiting for us the business owners to pick it up because Well who else is going to do that? Or that's what I have to do. I guess I have to take that.
Meghan 14:19
But I would step back and say not all opinions are trashed. So it's not a one for one comparison here there are, again with friends and family or with well meaning people who know you and genuinely care about you. Their opinions may be very valid. If they if they see that you're overworked if they see that there's this thing that you're trying to do in your business that is just not working. They may come to you and say hey, I have been seeing this pattern or seeing this habit and it's not it doesn't look healthy. It looks actually pretty toxic. That may be something that you really need to look at and and figure out maybe it's not working, right.
Collin 14:55
Yeah, and I did misspeak they're talking about every opinion being trashed. I wasn't what I intended. was just that when people are giving you the stuff, that's the, that's the decision that we have to make. And being very careful about who we let speak into our lives, and who we take advice from or who we take information from, because it can be detrimental, because we can end up chasing every whim of every person have every opinion of us, instead of actually living our life and running a business that we want to. Because if we just bounce from opinion, to opinion, to opinion, advice, to advice, to advice to advice, we're not actually in control of anything, we're not actually putting ourselves are having some intentionality to our actions. as we as we run our business as we live our life, because we're just being strung along or drug along or taken into certain situations that people tell us we need to go to, even though we might not really want to,
Meghan 15:52
well, and the thing about other people's opinions is that they can freely give any advice and opinion, but at the end of the day, they don't have to implement it in their business, they don't have to deal with the consequences of whatever it is their opinion is, you do. That's why it's even more weighty of the things that we choose to do in our business, these things are very important. So we do need to have a clear head when we're talking with people so that we can have a good idea of what's going to be useful or not, it's
Collin 16:19
dangerous enough for me to go from whim to whim in my own life, from my whim from my whim to my whim, it's even more dangerous to go from someone else's whim to someone else's swim to someone else's swim, we have no control over that. And especially figure like you said, people throw out this advice. And if we pick it up and run with it, they may have tossed it out with having any idea of what the intricacies are. And like you said, they also don't have to implement it. That's a really important fact of, there's so much advice out there. There's so many how tos and what to do. And you know, we've walked through several those, there's so much of that out there, there's so much noise. And we are the ones ultimately held responsible with the success or failure of our business or with our employees wellbeing are our own mental and emotional well being physical well being. We that's where our control comes in. Of, we take the good advice from the people that we know that we trust that we love, who are speaking good things into our lives and are doing so from a genuine standpoint, the noise from everything else, we have to have that boundary that barrier between us and them going, that is not worth my time that is not worthwhile to me, that will actually lead me to places I don't want to go. And we do have to that that falls to us. That is our responsibility.
Meghan 17:42
You are the boss of your business. So be you let your uniqueness define your business. Because nobody else can problem solve like you. Nobody else can see things with fresh eyes and a different perspective than you. There certainly are times for if you're having a problem in your business or you're stuck. There are times for going to others for advice. And it could be everybody that we've talked to clients, friends, family, other business owners, coaches, marketers, but going into it with a mindset of knowing the weight of their opinion, because they're not likely going to know your intricate numbers and the day in a day out operations of your business.
Collin 18:20
So how do we tune out the noise that we're talking about here? This these unwarranted unmerited advice from people that really may not know exactly what's going on. But it starts with being still and not moving at 1000 miles an hour. Because until we stop the motion in our own lives, we don't know what's going on. We won't know our baseline of of who we are. Our yoga instructor has this great line that she says as we're warming up for the day where she says, Find what's stuck, find where there's tension. And this is so wonderful, because it means about two things, right? It's also knowing that my left shoulder, it gets stuck and there's a lot of tension in there. So I can't bend it that much. But also mentally, what am I bringing into that? What am I sitting with that day? What is consuming my time and my me mentally and physically? Once we can assess that, then we know what we're working with, we know what my pain points are what's driving me at that exact moment. Then we can finally you can truthfully discern what inputs what inputs are worth our time and then move on from there. And it could be things from unsubscribing from emails or muting people on Facebook or whatever or avoiding those conversations with those people at that next networking event or declining that client whenever they want to call you and request the services. It is is starting with ourselves and re centering ourselves about where we are what we want. Why we are doing things what is stuck. What is where's Is there tension in your life? Those are driving factors that you know you that you need to address. And then you can better ascertain the advice the inputs from other people and see where those can help. And Megan, you touched on another way to tune out the noise a little bit earlier, but it's about knowing who the source is about the person that speaking into your life. What relationship do you have with that person? What connection do you have with them already? Have you been through 20 years of stuff? Well, that person's advice, I personally would take way more than some random person on the internet telling me to do one thing over another. Or that would be that'd be way more worth the information that they're giving me than some advice of some cold calling marketer on another end of the phone telling me how great radio advertising is. It's about assessing that relationship with that person can really help you know what weight to put on certain pieces of information. And when you couple that with knowing where you are, where your pain points are what's driving you with the weight of an opinion, or advice that somebody who's speaking that is extremely close to you, who you've lived many years with, or maybe experienced friendships with, they can help you know, okay, this advice is coming from this random person, I don't know where this is in this, I've never heard of this thing over there. I need to quiet those all out. And pay attention to first what what myself is saying and then where these close people are tuning
Meghan 21:27
out, the noise is all about knowing yourself first. If you cannot sit still with yourself, if you cannot assess where you want your business to be in 510 20 years, then it's really going to be hard to know which opinions are important to you and which aren't. You need to know more about yourself. You need to sit and be introspective about your personal goals, your business goals, where and how you want to impact the community. Because when you align yourself and your business, on a straight line, not that entrepreneurship is always a straight line, it's always up and down in some form or fashion. But when you are on the straight line, your train is going down the track, you can more clearly see the the opinions and advice that are in alignment with the train track you in the direction that you are going and which aren't.
Collin 22:16
Conversely, if we find we are only listening to people who always agree with us, or only tell us what we want to hear, we're living in an echo chamber. And we need to get out of that. Because if there's just yes men and yes, women in our lives, we are going to end up in a very bad place. And we're not actually going to grow and excel and be better than we were the day before. So this entire thing of tuning out the noise. It's about you defining what that noise is and what it looks like, given where you are in your life and your business. That's a lot of responsibility that we have in ourselves. Just another thing that we've got to worry about as a business owner. Now I have to define the word noise. Great, wonderful, why don't I just go do something else but but that's where it comes back to understanding who you are, where you are. And then once we know that we've got that nailed down, we know where that tension is, we know what stuck, we know what to work with. And as we make those adjustments, we can have all of these inputs coming in all of these advice. All of this advice, all this opinion, can be good to us because we know what's relevant in that moment at that time in that stage. And then we can tune everything else out. Because when we have clarity of vision, when we have clarity of purpose in our lives, the noise fades away. As we focus intently on what's important if
Meghan 23:39
you have helpful advice for other pet sitters on how you implement this in your business. You can email us at feedback at Pet Sitter confessional.com Or you can give us a call at 636-364-8260. We appreciate you listening to this today. Hopefully it has been helpful to you. And if you would like to help support the podcast you could do so at Pet Sitter confessional.com/support. Thank you to pet sitters associates and our Patreon members and we will talk with you next time.
Collin 24:05
Bye
