341: Making Wolfie's Wish with Erica Messer
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Summary:
What inspires you to try new things? The loss of pet is an earth shattering moment in the life of a pet owner. Erica Messer, owner of Wolfie’s Wish, took the tragedy and turned it into her inspiration to help others. Erica started a product line to help pet parents grieve the loss of their pet. Erica breaks down how she dove into product development, found a manufacturer, and works on her marketing. She also shares how she makes the most out of trade shows and is focused on building a community of resources for everyone.
Main topics
Background as a musician
Designing her product
Finding her market
Making the most of trades hows
Main takeaway: You can have one product (or service) that you market in multiple ways to address the needs of different niches.
About our guest
After the sudden passing of her cat, Wolfgang, Erica couldn’t find a simple product to help her cope so she created her own: Pet Loss Grieving Cards. Thus, her company Wolfie’s Wish was born. Grieving Cards have since won “Best New Product” at the Superzoo tradeshow. When she’s not paw-sitively rocking it in her business, Erica enjoys performing pop and rock covers on her harp or scratching and mixing on the turntables.
Links:
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPkpa_ynS8Im1YlFNAvzZBA
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
Provided by otter.ai
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, pet, grief, loss, grieving, cards, products, gift, find, reminders, moment, read, life, clients, talk, resources, music, business, person, wolfies
SPEAKERS
Collin, Erica M.
Collin 00:10
Hello, I'm Meghan. I'm Collin. And this is Pet Sitter confessional and open and honest discussion about life as a pet sitter brought to you by time to pet and pet perennials. loss of a pet is a heart breaking and world changing moment for not just us but for our clients. The loss of a pet can also be an inspiring time to reach for it and help out others going through the same things. Erica Messer owner of wolfies wish is on a mission to help people grieve better, and to help society become more accepting of the grief that pet parents go through when their best friend passes away. Erica was inspired to start her own line of pet products focused on the grief for pet parents. Today, she joins us and shares her journey into pet products, how she manages to keep going and what so for lessons are from that process. Let's get started.
Erica M. 01:00
I started with these wish in October 2021, after my cat passed away from a horrible tragedy. And I didn't have the tools that I needed to cope with that I was really blindsided. So my mom and I wrote this deck of greeting cards, and it's just designed to be read once a day. And since then, we've really built out a great website and are finding ways to collaborate with other people in that industry and pet loss and counseling and on and on and on. So went from being a musician and artist full time to blending that into a
Collin 01:38
business owner in 2021. You said Wolfgang is your Catholic that passed away from a strategy and you're saying that you were didn't have those coping mechanisms? What kind of things were you looking for? And what get what was not
Erica M. 01:52
out there for you? Yeah, well, I think I mean, everybody who is faced with sudden loss of any person or animal, you know, is, is overwhelmed. And we all know that, that grieving is normal. And mourning is normal. But I was facing some some PTSD, like symptoms and having a lot of flashbacks and realized, hey, out, I don't have all the tools to deal with this. I guess I should read a book and then, you know, I was like, okay, Amazon, you know, what can you get here today because I need help. And I went, Oh my gosh, there's a jillion books and how many to ask to buy and how many drafts to read. So I feel better. And I just said this is not going to. So that was that was the first Oh, shoot, you know, this isn't as easy as I thought. And then I went to, you know, trying to find some articles. And mostly what I found was like 10 things, not 10 things not to say to people who have lost, and just kind of not feeling like I knew where to go. Right. I didn't know, I didn't know the help I needed and I didn't know where to find it. Yeah. And that's, that's really in a nutshell, what I'm trying to do today is put all these resources together, whether it's podcasts like this, books, people that I interview, and have a YouTube channel, you know, I can go on and on. But I want there to be one place people know to go, whether it's your support people that are grieving, or you're grieving yourself, and you need to find the resources that will work for you.
Collin 03:31
Well, as pet sitters as dog walkers were kind of one step removed a lot of times where the owner is grieving the loss of their pet. And we have our own grief to go through. And a lot of times that owner may reach out to us for resources. And we're sitting there going, I don't, I don't know really how to help you. Because in a lot of cases, I don't know how to help myself. And I'm dealing with a lot of these unknown questions, because it's not a topic that many people talk about or have flashy billboards for or you know, are the number one bestseller, book and a topic you do have to hunt, and Peck and find your way and kind of weave through a lot of this information. And trying to find a lot of actionable, practical things that we can do in our lives. And to give to other people can be really tricky. And unfortunately, it's one of those things of you don't look for those until you're in that moment, making it even harder because you're going through an emotional roller coaster. And now you're having to also process information and search and decide which is better and it really becomes extremely overwhelming.
Erica M. 04:35
Yeah, it's stressful. It adds more stress on top of, you know what you're going through and for me, I was going through what I just call brain fog. I would leave you know, eggs on the stove and forget things and that's not normal for me. And so I that was another scary honestly to witness the things that I was not doing correctly. And to realize that, Oh, my breath, my brain and body are not together right now. And I need to fix this. And I don't know how to fix it. And so I did reach out for pet grief counselor, and that was overwhelming to I'd go, okay, Google, how who can meet me on a resume? You know? And how do I know? They're not just gonna rip me off? And what if I don't like them? And what if they call me crazy, you know, I said, I had all these fears going into that. But I did find a great counselor who told me I was normal, and that what I was feeling was normal. And that was the trigger that made me say, Okay, I am going to listen to my mom, we are going to do this, we're gonna do this now. Because if I am normal, then people need help, and they need to find the help that they need. And you know, whether that's a tarot reader or an intuitive, whatever is gonna work for you to make you get through your grief in a healthy way. You know, I'm not I'm not biased and the information I'm collecting anything and everything, as long as it's going to help people. So, yeah,
Collin 06:10
and you you started developing these these grieving cards. And so these, what, what role did I guess? Did these help you just personally, as you were going through the grief and loss of Wolfgang,
Erica M. 06:21
yeah, so when I couldn't find what I was looking for, I was actually looking for something like this. I love affirmation card decks, you know, you read one thing a day. That's like, saying gratitude today are just these gentle reminders, right? I wanted something like that. And I was really disappointed when I couldn't find it. Because I thought this is digestible. It's daily things. It's, you know, very focused. Anyway, I ended up just, you know, we're still in the pandemic. So I would just light a candle, sit with a cup of coffee, and just sit and ask myself, like, what do I need to do to heal today? What what action can I take. And I started writing those things down as they came and sharing them with my mom. So one of my favorites was writing a love letter to Wolfgang all the things and seeing special things that I enjoyed about him. The memories that I had, you know, him him fishing out the cabinet from the Christmas stockings that I made, and just all those little things. And I put it away knowing Oh, good, okay, I'm not going to forget those, I can go back and read this. It was really, really cathartic for me. And so anyway, my family and I got together and we've kind of weeded through these and found the ones that were most universal, or so we thought. And that's how the grieving cards evolved was just something that I wanted for myself. And then my mom was like, we have to make things you have to share them. And, you know, to be honest, I didn't want to I didn't want to get into that just seems like so much work. But again, talking to the counselor, and I realized, man, okay, she's right, we'll do it. It's gonna be hard and challenging. And it is, but it's also really fun and rewarding.
Collin 08:07
Well, and you mentioned the, the drive in connection to this affirmation cards of these are things that are written down black and white, physically represented in the world that are here as a reminder to things that I might not physically be able to, to agree with every moment, but it's there, it's right there. And having something as we're going through the grief because we do have that brain fog, because we have these these PTSD like symptoms, because we are struggling to put together a lot of these pieces. Having something physically in the world in front of us, in front of our clients in front of people, as a reminder of, I might not be able to remember this about myself right now. But it's right over here being written down that it is it's and becomes extremely powerful in our ability to start going through that grieving process. Because if sometimes if we have to rely on our own internal ability, sometimes we don't have that strength in that moment, and having this little bit of extra analyzation, whether that's with a counselor, whether that's with a helper, whether that's with these cards, kind of allows you to go okay, I see that and now I've got a I've got to work through
Erica M. 09:13
that. Yeah, and we all need a little bit of guidance and direction. And, you know, however, that looks for a listener, you know, whether it is with someone that can do readings for you or communicate with your pet or I mean, I actually found that's really common, I have no idea or grief counselor or just journaling because it's really simple. There's a grief support groups online, you know, I just want people to know what's available and then choose what for them. And, and I do love I really do love these grieving cards because they just give, they give little insights and it's like, okay, I can get through this one foot at a time. And, you know, I'm curious, you know, you had mentioned that your, you know, your clients come to you for help. But you're also grieving, you know, you have had bought these cars. I mean, did they help you? Do you think they apply to people that are at caretakers as well?
Collin 10:12
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, we have had these cards, we gave them out at one of our pet grief events. And we've read through them, and we had people really respond to them well, and just personally, I mean, simple things like the reminder of I will practice self care today, like that's one of the cards in one of these packs. That is such a huge impact of sometimes in my grief. And in my, in my loss when I'm walking through that I can forget about myself, because I'm focused on what I don't have anymore. I'm focused on things that aren't here or present. And I wish and I long for that I forget about the present in the here and now. And a card that pops up that says, oh, yeah, I really do need to take care of myself, I can't be going about over consuming and over purchasing and overburdening my life. There are other things and other priorities that I have to have. And it's though one of those reminders is so important, especially for me where I get caught up in in the past and get caught up in what's not here anymore. The affirmations and reminders in that aspect are very powerful, because sometimes they may trigger a lot of us to have, we don't know what we don't know. And we don't know how to process things and having little prompts or little reminders. Just taking a moment go can What does that mean for me right now, when you get that prompt of like, I need to practice self care today. Okay, what does it look like for me? Today? Maybe that's different than what it was yesterday, what is different for tomorrow, but it helps, it helps us be a lot more present. And in the moment, especially again, when, as pet sitters, dog walkers, we can feel weird grieving the loss of a pet that's not our own. We grow attachments, we have relationships with them. We see them daily, in a lot of cases for years. And then the pet passes away pet dies, and we're left going, Well, should I be grieving? Like it hurts. I really miss them. But they're not mine. I guess. I don't know, who do I go and say, my clients dog died helped me. Right. That's, that's, that's even, that's an even more awkward thing to say, than my own dog died. Then I had an acquaintance with my through my business that passed away. And now I'm left feeling empty, I have a hole now in my life. And this the recognition that that is exists, that that is real, and having these reminders, you know, these cards kind of stuff, they do help you in that moment of being like, oh, like like you said, Erica, like you found somebody who said, you what you are feeling is real, and they validated this is normal, and have having to kind of repeat it back to you on a recurring basis really does help.
Erica M. 12:47
And if you think about that one, it's interesting you picked that one is that, you know, I read these and they post them on Instagram people about them, because maybe they don't know that they didn't like these. So I tried to just give a variety. And I oftentimes read them and think, oh, I should do this today. You know, we all need to remember self care. Like our schedules are crazy. We're all really busy. You know, you're an entrepreneur, you have family, and we get and I'm hard on myself too. And I was grieving, I was hard on myself. And that card reminded me, hey, take it easy schedule, some time for a walk or a bath or a nap or whatever is going to make you feel comforted and cared for and that everything really is okay. There's a lot of I had to do a lot of reminding myself of, I'm okay. I'm okay. Everything is okay. Terrible thing happens. And yes, and accept it. But I've got to be gentle with myself and let myself feel however long that takes. And that's another really hard thing I was taught by a long time to get through mud. Monks, if I wanted to go to a museum, and I love museums, I have memberships and museums at about one month. So you're you're just kind of, it's great to have people you can talk to and I really liked the Facebook group for pet loss, you know, just an outlet to kind of check in and say, What is other What are other people doing? Are they also like not wanting to enjoy the things they used to do kind of, you know, it's just a weird, it's a weird thing to be thrown into and not have any problems. And the fact
Collin 14:27
that the grief is so multifaceted. That's it catches us off guard. Oh, I had quite a bit. I know in the event that we hosted. And that just one small event. We had one person who was just coming to help commiserate and help support others. We had one person who came and the cat had actually helped her grieve the loss of her husband. And now the cat had passed away. And she didn't she didn't have anything else. Right. The cat was what helped God get her through the loss of her husband. And now that support was gone. We had another lady who came up and she had had a dog who had a terrible illness and had to be put down. And she was battling with a lot of grief and second guessing and guilt, and whether she had done it. And as, as pet business owners, we have all the same feelings. Did I love them enough? Did I take enough photos of them? Did I give them you know, Did I did I scrub their bowl out enough, while they were still alive? Did they know how much I cared for them in the moments that I wasn't there. And we have so many facets of the fact that we're lost our best friend. And we lost someone who were very close to. And now we're guilty about whether we did enough. And now we're unsure about how to move forward. And all of those things have to be processed in their own time and in an appropriate way. And having conversations like this getting connected to a support group A lot of times before you even need it is one of the best things you can do. So you can be ready and have access to things and whether that's for yourself or for your clients or for both. It really is a process of going hey, I know, you just got a puppy. You know, we're going to enjoy the puppy, and we're but we're gonna eventually need to start having some of these conversations about what things are going to look like when they're no longer with us.
Erica M. 16:08
I would love to see veterinary offices have some templates or some information on, you know, hey, one day, you're gonna have to say goodbye to your pet. Here's some things that you can do now, do you want to you know, just simple questions like, Are you going to want to bury your pet in your yard? Are you gonna want to cremate them? You know, and just, I know, it's really hard to talk about. And I say it now like it's easy. But nobody wants to talk about these things when they're in love with very healthy animal, you know? And so I guess that's what I hope is that we'll fees which will become a name that people know they can go to and find what they need when that time comes. And they can just kind of shut the door. They hear about it like okay, yeah, well, and then they shut the door. And then when you know it happens, or they're anticipating that loss, like, what's that website? Oh, yeah. Okay, here's what Yeah, and get what they need and not have to go through that overwhelming search of like, you know, there's Grief counselors for anticipatory loss. I'm reading so many things all every day, of what we have access to now, and I mean, with technology, and the internet is beautiful for that. What would we do without it?
Collin 17:15
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17:21
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Collin 17:45
if you are looking for new pet sitting software, give time to pet a try, listeners of our show can save 30% off your first three months by visiting tight pet.com/confessional. So I do want to take the conversation and move just a little bit into the actual actual products because that's that's a world that is unfamiliar for a lot of our listeners and us You said you dove headlong into product development when you had a background in music. And so what what was that process like for you of having this idea now going, Okay, I need this made? How did you how'd you walk through that?
Erica M. 18:21
I I kind of went, like, I took this mentality and Thinkorswim is gonna work or not. And I'm gonna act like it's gonna work. And I'm just gonna go for it and see what happens. And my first step was, well, okay, I see how to make the cars. I mean, I know what I want them to look like, and I know what I want them what the what I want them to say, but to manufacture something, okay, let's all this is going to cost a lot of money. Okay, let me put a GoFundMe together. And within five days, people were like, throwing money, and I was crying when I received donations. I don't even know you and you're giving me $500. So that was a big, that was a big green light, right to know that people. And here's the thing, the people they're asking to donate thought I was making sympathy cards, didn't even know what I was doing. They were just like, that sounds like a good thing that's needed. Sure. And so, you know, I feel really lucky that the process was pretty easy. You know, like, you just do one thing at a time and make a list. Get a budget together. And I printed some at home just to kind of start getting something tangible. And then it's just kind of taking it one step at a time. So have no idea what I'm doing. I'll be honest, every day I wake up and I'm like, Okay, what do I what do I need to figure out the day and you know, honestly, it's kind of fun. I mean, you have to have, you have to be creative and you have to be willing to To overcome obstacles, and that's my personality, I love challenges. I love new things. I read other businesses that were failures. And they didn't kill me. So I thought, okay, there was a point where my husband and I, we had to talk about how much we were going to invest our own money. And, you know, we came to the bottom line of like, well, the worst thing that's gonna happen is we're gonna help a bunch of people and have to give away cards at some point. It didn't work is a business. We we screwed up somewhere. So we have gifts to give people for the rest of our lives. We're like, that's not a bad fail. Let's go.
Collin 20:40
Let's have that conversation. Yeah, yeah. Well, again, going, if you have a need and a lot of this of going, how do I keep moving forward, I have to think about the worst possible outcomes, were just kind of relating to our previous conversation of I've got to think about the worst possible outcome with my time. So I've don't avoid that. Because when I avoid it, what do I do I arrest my progression through life. And so now, if I have this goal is challenged, the worst thing that can happen is sure, maybe out some money. But now I can give these away for a really long time. What a different mindset that is about how we approach it. So we can be creative, because sometimes in order to be creative, we have to think, sky's the limit in order to go what is actually possible? And then we'll make sure, then we'll see if it's feasible for me. But first, we've got just get it out there and start going. So did you did you Google, like companies that mass print cards? Or how did you start even partnering with them?
Erica M. 21:41
Yeah, what I found in the US, is that not not there's like one company that can do it. And they weren't giving me good prototype. The boxes were actually already coming from China. So I was like, this wasn't making. Yeah, it was like, I would just kind of ask, you know, what really happened was my brother's wife in Australia, said, I have a friend who did a Kickstarter and produce tarot cards. Would you like to be in touch with her? And I was like, Heck, yeah. So I got in touch with her. She shared her contacts with me. And she said, Erica, I've spent three years developing my tarot deck, and let me tell you who not to work with and who to work with. Oh, wow. And I wrote, I wrote to this person that she was really happy with, you happen to be in China, we still have a great relationship. I thought I write to her very often, because I'm doing some new products now. And that's how that got started. I finally like click there. But in the meantime, you know, I wanted to find different ways to produce, I was looking into sustainable mobility and like, Okay, I said, while I was in Munich, Germany, my family's in Florida. So what if we produce in Florida, I produce in Europe, and they're produced in China, and then at least we can get the cards to the closest point, right? I can't do everything perfectly. But let me try. And I found a producer ended up finding producer in Italy, who does use sustainable practices when possible, you know, just using digital ink, for example, save tons of water. So I have done my research, I have to put that out there that I do care about the environment. They do care about my friends. Yes, this is a paper product. Yeah. But I'm doing the best I can with what I have to make sure that it's her family that can make it Oh, I love
Collin 23:32
it, Erica, because now you can go, you can really look at the product and go, I can really make this my own. Right, there's a there's a purpose of the grief cards and the messages and the impact that's going to have, but I can also enter weave a lot more of my own morals and beliefs into this thing from from top to bottom of how products are sourced how they're made, how they're produced, who I'm working with, those are all things that we you get to decide to do and how you run the business. And that's where a lot of that creativity, again comes from and we forget in business, just how much of a creative thing it is. Whether it's making products, whether it's conducting services, we get to be creative and how we do that and why we're doing it. And that's going to influence everything. And it can be hard to see that sometimes. Well, how would I implement that? Well, sometimes you have to just try and start and figure it out. There's no cookie cutter pathway that we get that that's laid out before us. That's a lot of our personal discovery and our connections that we get to bring along the way.
Erica M. 24:39
Yes, made a lot of mistakes. And I don't want to talk about them on air right now. They were bad enough for me to quit, but it was like oh, well, I didn't know that. I wasn't trying to avoid that. But yeah, let me go ahead and pay my file my quarterly taxes to the state of Florida because I didn't know that you do that. You did it once a year. I made some small mistakes along the way and fix it. But I also want to say, you know, I had to decide what kind of business perform. And because I wanted full control, I did not do a nonprofit. And because I wanted to decide how to spend the profits and donate to the causes that I believe in, I decided to keep it a, you know, a, what am I LLC?
Collin 25:23
So you found a company out of out of the United States, you didn't form it over in Germany, right? Okay.
Erica M. 25:29
Right, my mom and I run it from her house, actually, the products are in her garage, she's fulfilled from the living room. And I do the same thing here, I have a storage unit in my basement, and I fulfill orders in my living room. And you know, at some point will be big enough where we can be like, you know, hey, third party shipping warehouse, we want to take our money. Anyway,
Collin 25:52
moving back, and part of part of that growth is your you've been doing a lot of trade shows, and you recently won a pretty prestigious award this year for having attended that. So what was that like?
Erica M. 26:02
That was really great. I cried under the booth. When I found out I had one. There was some strangers around like watches that happen. But yeah, I would do SuperZoo, the largest largest pet trade show in North America. And you know, again, I'm not afraid of failing, I'm not afraid of losing things. In fact, it makes life worth living. So, you know, we packed up our stuff, we went there and no idea what we were doing or who we were going to meet. I'm really proud of how to do it, we just, we just did it. And I entered my products into the new product showcase. So different categories. And then judges, five judges will go around and vote and we won best runner, first runner up the best new product in the gift category. And were given a nice piece of glass engraved for some fancy words. And, sure, I mean, it gave me a lot of credibility. Again, it gave me that, like, pat on the back was just keep going, you know, you don't know what you're doing. But you're figuring it out. This is really good feedback. Keep going, make your mistakes with your taxes, and then fix it and make other mistakes and just pizza.
Collin 27:15
That's a lot of what our processes you figure it out. And we said that quite a bit. And so you've you entered into the world of trade shows now? What are some of the biggest things that you have learned about them?
Erica M. 27:28
Well, the trade shows have all been really different. You know, I did, I did one here in Germany. I did that show recently in New York. And what I'm learning is, how the products will be received in different countries, and different professions. And it's all been really good, because we found that, you know, I don't really cornered into, like I can, I can market these in multiple ways, like as a as a guest. And if shows I can go to pet caretaker, dog grooming shows, I can go to kind of anywhere in the pet industry and find someone that's like, oh, wow, that's cool. Okay. But, um, you trade shows themselves, I was really gotta say, if anyone's considering doing it for a product they have or a service. I mean, just be prepared to work your butt off, it's exhausting, you're on your feet, you know, eight hours a day, thinking on your feet. You got to get all your inventory there and set up quick, expensive to go home. It's, it's a lot of work that doesn't always pay off right away. You know, I broke even with with SuperZoo, I did not make a profit in the very first one in Germany. And I've I just came back a few days ago from the New York ones. And that's more complicated because the people that I met have partners, and it's a bigger investment for them to they can't make decisions on the on the spot. So I don't know, I want to do more. I want to do the Atlanta Gift Show. But I'm terrified because it's a quite a lot of money. And I don't really have it. There's my trade show expertise.
Collin 29:13
Well, and you know, one of the lessons that you said you learned from that is basically finding different niches in the market and how you curtail your messaging around that. And I think that's really important in that as as a service provider, it's like, I offer a dog walk, right? It's a dog walk, the dog walk doesn't really change. It's just a dog walk. But remembering of how I communicate that one thing is going to change depending on who I'm talking to, and what part of the market I'm trying to get to. And so I can use different language, different imagery, different pictures, different colors, different fonts to target a wider area of people and allows us to talk with different segments of that market. And because sometimes we can feel like well, I'm only talking to This person or I'm only talking to this person, or how would I imagine having one service or one product and targeting different people? Well, you do it in different ways with how, you know, like you said, like, Oh, is it a gift? Is it something that they have up at the front? Is it a giveaway? Is it included in a basket? Is this for another business? All these different concepts start going out, the more we are talking with people around us in our community or other people, and that's, that's part of that, okay, now I can I can learn about how to talk to this and market this to people that I need to be marketing to.
Erica M. 30:32
It's I think that's my biggest hurdle is I met someone who does a very successful entrepreneur, okay, he's doing some really cool stuff. And I said, so I like to ask people that, you know, make it like, or what do you attribute to your success? And she's like, well, she said, Netflix. That doesn't help me out. What do you mean? It's like, well, Netflix approached me for a show. And that pretty much said it. I was like, Okay, give me your next thing. He's like, give it time today. Erica, give it time. You're in this one year, it takes four to five years for things to really pick up and take off. Thank you. i That applies to Yes. Now. I don't really know what I yeah, that thank you for that answer. I'm glad that worked for you. be approached by multibillion dollar company. Sure. Got it. I didn't see those people investing in my Kickstarter. So yeah, it'd be Yeah, basically, just keep talking. Keep asking questions. Keep an open mind, you know, and it takes determination on I think a lot of people that have been down the road that down this year might have quit, there were times where I thought I would quit. There's not even before the New York trade show, I was talking to my friend on the plane. I was like, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I've worked so hard. What if this fails? What if nobody talks to me at the show? And she's just like, let's just go, let's just go. Just keep going. You know, and if I didn't have friends and family to be that angel on my shoulder? I don't know. They'll be talking to you. I mean, I do an art, you know, with my headphones on in my little room?
Collin 32:17
Well, so you aren't. That community is so important. And finding that support group really does help. And I know people may go well, I don't have anybody. I'm not near family, I don't have a lot of friends, because of how busy I am. Getting plugged in with a broader community, whether that's online and in person networking group, or something where you can have people celebrating your successes, is is really critical in a lot of that. So you don't have so you have somebody to be there with you there through that through the highs right through through the awards. And through those, those periods of crisis in your life was like, I don't know about this. And having somebody who can come alongside and not just go you can do it, you got this, but can sit with you in that minute in that moment and talk you through that.
Erica M. 32:59
You know, I think that really applies to the people you want to have around you when your pet passes. Because you want to know who you can count on. You want to know who you can talk to, you'll have, I mean, we all have, we all have fairweather friends that we love that may not be there for us or understand. And I just wanted to say that applies a little bit farther in that I had to learn. You know, sometimes I just wanted to be like when wolf gone past. I just wanted to be around people. There were days where I just needed company. And I said, Hey, let's have dinner, let's just have dinner, I don't want to talk about anything. So we just pretend to have a normal day. And they were like, great. Most people will do that. Then there are people that you want to say I need to dark and cry a little bit. And you got to know who those people are. So, yeah. Another thing to think about and kind of try on, like, who's going to understand me? And who's gonna let me think that,
Collin 33:56
who can I go to? For what, right? Yeah, what's this, and not just not that we're viewing people as a means to an end, or I'm only getting things from people, but we know people in our life who we can go, this person really gets me in this moment, and this person is going to talk or this person can do this and seeing that as that community, that network that we can have that is going to help support us like that we do have to be honest about that going, there is support there to be had. And there are people who I can approach with these things and there are people who that's not their thing, no fault of their own, it's may just not they they might not be comfortable in that moment of going down that road with us.
Erica M. 34:31
Right. And that's, that's how I also want to put a large part of the website open source website is for, you know, the friends and family and colleagues and the people that are grieving and what not to say and what is helpful and, you know, address their uncomfortableness around the topic of loss. Right and, and provide support for them too, because I had a lot of people face and do dumb things to me that were hurtful and yet, I know they're trying to be helpful, but I'm like, You should never say that. Because that makes I go get another pet. Because I would never say that to someone's child labor, the loss of traffic, they would never say just go get another one. Right. And it is the same, it is the same has evolved. Now they're in our lives, they're in our family, their day to day, they're no longer chained up outside there for protection. You know, the cats aren't in the barn to get the mice. I mean, they might be but they come and sleep with you. Our relationship with animals has changed. And yeah, you can't just replace it or make it go away, and it's going to leave a scar. And I think the people that have scars on their hearts are some of the luckiest people.
Collin 35:36
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Erica M. 36:30
Yeah, well, I've asked myself, gosh, how do I combine? Is there a way to combine all these? And it just happened that I think I think when wolf guns first anniversary was coming up on October 9, I thought I think I'm gonna just play harp on Instagram and like, you know, so that I'm a harpist singer and DJ, and I do mostly wedding. So I think I'm just gonna do something and you know, perform for people like over the rainbow and some, some meaningful songs, and then that evolves to, hey, send me your pet photo, I want you to be a part of this, too. Let's, let's, let's celebrate our pets together. And it became this like Memorial slideshow that I played music for you and then put up on YouTube. And then people said, well, you know, Can you can you do that? For a service? You know, that I'm having in my yard? Well, sure. I'll do it over zoom, or a, there's a grief group is this happening in January with Jan Jeremias. And she is doing weekly segments and I'm gonna come in and perform for that. Just give hold some space for people to just sit and listen and be be focused on music, right? Music is healing and Hector harp. I mean, there's not sorry, there's not a much more healing instrument than that. So, so that's kind of together. And then, you know, I didn't start painting until the pandemic, you're like, seriously, painting. And pest was actually my favorite subject. And I thought I was already doing pet portraiture. And now I just said, Okay, I'm gonna put that on, on my website as a service as well. People want Memorial portraits, you know, before their pet has passed, or as a gift to someone, I've had people that have one person that's ordered for the same animal, because he just liked it, they liked all the different besides the picture, and they had the money to do it, you know, so. So it is, it is coming out and I'm making your new deck of cards, I guess I'll just say that now with my own paintings on there. We're gonna release that sometimes lately 2023. Kind of all coming together. And I'm sure they'll keep evolving in ways that I don't even see right now. I've asked a student composer to write some music theory music that I could record, you know, figuring it out. I've got a YouTube channel with Park music as a playlist for relaxation, because one of the grieving reading cards says, you know, I will listen to soothing music, and just let myself have some space.
Collin 39:11
When we have these these moments of what can I do about XYZ problem? Like we've looked at that, and we may feel like, there's only one possible quote unquote, solution. But as we start investing in it as we start putting ourselves into that, other things do start to bubble up about, oh, I could add this, oh, I have an interest in this, oh, this goes along with it. And that's where we can look up 510 years down the line and see all of these things that we're doing and go, Wow, that all fits together. But remembering that we can contribute in so many different ways that we do have our own gifts, our own talents that we can do to pour into whatever effort that we're doing, whether that's creating the best dog walking service, whether that's creating the best pet grief cards and resources for people there. There's so many facets there. And I love how you mentioned that you know, music is healing and and when you when you are playing the harp, what's what's going through your mind knowing that you're playing for these people who are going through a
Erica M. 40:17
really tough time. I hope I don't mess up pretty much what goes through the mind of every musician for Miles Davis, he's got some kind of crazy, he's like, I find the spaces between them. Most musicians are neurotic. And we're perfectionist, and nothing is ever good enough. But no, it took to be honest, you know, I've had, I've had to work really hard on that the inner critic and actually enjoying music. And like, that's what I started for. I didn't start to just beat myself up. When I am when I was doing the online Memorial live streaming and do other people were for, I guess, hosting, I don't know what you'd call it, we were all streaming together, knew there were 1000s of people watching. And I was just like, this is I can go to a place where I think this isn't about me, this is bigger than me. And let me just do my thing. And I try to enjoy it. And I focus on TV instead of, you know, anything like it's not like, Look at me. Look at I can do, it's more like, here's what I can do. Here's what I can do. And when I go to a space like that, I don't even know if I'm mistake, because it doesn't matter. What matters is that intention that's coming out and all the skills and training and things that I've put together. And I just get I go a poll. So what's a mistake, you know, you've done it your whole life. Just bring that, bring that. And then always have a great time. And like, yeah, I get washed and excited. And I kind of forget that I'm in a memorial, because I'm enjoying the playing in the giving so much. What
Collin 42:08
can I give? What does that look like? What can I give? And when we reframe it in a giving mindset, the other things just kind of fall into place, again, of going, I can I know what my gifts are, I know what my abilities are. So let's just be honest about that. And going, that's what I'm putting on the table. That's the service that I'm bringing to my clients. That's the kind of support that I'm giving them. That's how I'm helping people around. And then there's no there's no guilt left for us if when a mistake happens, because mistakes will happen. But if we're honest with where we are, what we're doing, and the purpose of it, everything else just kind of fades away. And we can we can that's what that's when we can step back and go. I did my own, I gave my best. And that was that was enough. And that's what was needed at that moment.
Erica M. 42:58
Yeah, try to look at the bigger picture with whatever I've done. I tried to look at okay, well, what was good about it? What went well, and honestly, I brought that into the cards. I had to say to myself, Okay, this happened, but what good? Where's the good? Just focus on that. Just ask yourself in any situation, what's good here? What's going well here, you know, sometimes takes things to be that simple. But anyway, back back to the music. Yeah. And that took a lot of time to evolve, to get to that place. To have that mentality. And I think that comes with time and I want to touch back on what you just cool thing you did was you recently helped, you know, your creative yourself and you you are open minded, and you created a space in your community for people to come together and greet and you talked about that a little bit ago. But I think that's really beautiful that you were able to see a need and your community and provide that. And you know, you're bringing something that wasn't there for people that didn't have an outlet right now and bring a community together people to celebrate their pets. Right? Yeah. I just I love that.
Collin 44:18
Well, I appreciate that. Erica, it was definitely one of those moments of, of, of it was very scary because nothing had been done like nothing had been done like that in our area ever. We had never done an event like that ever. And we came in with the expectation of we were hosting it. That was all the expectation. There was no like attendance of like, Oh, if just one person shows up, we'll be fine. It was because I was like no, I don't even know if anybody's going to show up to this. I have no clue. We have people who said they were going to attend but I'm going to set the expectation of the goal for this is for us to us to show up and be there ready to help. And and people did they showed up? It wasn't a huge gathering of people but didn't have Have to be because the people that needed to be there, were there. And we just had to trust that of going, we're going to make that space, we're going to give that time, have resources, and the people who need to be here will be here. And that was such an amazing experience to be able to be with people in that moment, and to hear their different needs to hear their different struggles. And then for them to just simply look around and go, Wow, I'm not alone. There are other people. And that was the biggest thing for me is people just being able to see other human beings who are who are struggling, walking down by that lake that we that we hosted it that like, no matter what else I said, or anything else we did, or what they were able to see other human beings, they're also crying and struggling in that moment. And that really humanizes a lot of that. And again, getting right back to the beginning of going validates your own feelings. We didn't go, that person's also hurting the way I'm hurting right now. I don't feel alone anymore. And that's so big. That's, that's so big. Yeah,
Erica M. 46:05
that's huge. And you and remind me you had posted on Facebook, Facebook groups, and also in your paper that you were doing this? Is that how you got the word out?
Collin 46:15
Yeah, we had reached out to our local newspaper. And all we said was, hey, we want to let you know of this event that we're hosting, it's XYZ, it's this date, it's here, here's a link to the Facebook page that we've created for it wants you to know about it. And then the reporter reached back out to us and said, I'd love to write an article about this and get you guys in the paper. And she sat down did a big interview with us. And that's how a lot of people heard about it was through the newspaper. And then we were posting and we've created a Facebook page for the event where we were also posting additional resources for pets and things to do and, you know, planning for the death and counseling resources and things like that. So that all that was just kind of locked there. And then we could share out those posts on local Facebook community groups and other social media. So people could have that. And that was another aspect of this going, okay, maybe you don't show up to the event. But here's a resource for you, when you have going, because we knew of some people, they still have pets, all of our clients, obviously, we're serving, their pets are still alive. But here's all these resources for you. So that when this happens, we're a little bit we're all a little bit better prepared.
Erica M. 47:30
And you know, that's, that's great that you can show up and be a giver community in that way. And, you know, you're saying that people felt validated knowing that, oh, these other people feel, you know, they have a loss. And I just reminded me of, you know, being at these trade shows, the best thing I can do to try to explain what it is I do is just hold out a deck of cards and just walk up to people and shove them in their face and say, Hey, pick one. And then kind of like, okay. That's not a magic trick, I promise. But and I let them read it. And they either want to know more, or they don't want to talk. And it's perfect. Because the people that want to know more or less. Yeah, sometimes they read them and they get emotional. And what I love is that I can sit there and talk to human to human, I don't know this person from anywhere, right? And we both feel we both like in that in that way of, Oh, I did love my pet with all my heart. And the pain I feel is equal but the love I gave, it's just like, Ah, you just let this burden off your shoulders, you know, because I talked about how hard I was on myself. I shouldn't be feeling this way I should be taught I should get on? Should did it? No, it is okay to hurt. And it's okay. And it's really cool to see people get permission to feel the way they feel. And
Collin 48:57
we had one lady who, at the very end of the service just turn and she looked at me and she went, I didn't know I needed this as much as i did i these feelings. These feelings were a lot more than I than I thought. And just it was this case, because why? Why? Why? Where did that come from? Because in the rest of her life, she didn't have the space or it used an important word, their permission
Erica M. 49:19
to let them out.
Collin 49:21
She wasn't supposed to. She wasn't supposed to have that. We would make it an eye we were crying along with everybody else because of the pets that we'd lost our own personal and then clients pets that were no longer with us that was part of this process to have going like this is this is a space for everybody. And it is it is a space for everybody. Whether you've lost a pet or not, there are these things that like we've talked about that we can do that we need to be doing and we'd have ready to support people in those moments. So that it doesn't catch them off guard and they don't have to struggle.
Erica M. 49:50
Yeah, and if it does catch you off guard, you know, hopefully, Googling you know, pet loss resources, pet loss help. They will The more in the years to come that show up that are relevant. You know, I know, I know. I can't be everything and won't be Jewish can't be everything right. I hope that more people see that this is a need. And we're talking about it. And it's okay to talk about it. And you, would you when I interviewed you for my YouTube channel, you told me about Coleen Coleen Ellis said, I will never forget this quote, that was, you know, 70% of the population owns a pet, but the 30% that they don't are telling us how we can act in our grief. Like, I will never forget that because it's so true. We really need to change the dialogue and conversation, I want us to people have paid time off or pet Loss and Take it habit is taken as seriously as losing a loved one in your family. Because it is the same. Yeah, it's the same.
Collin 50:53
Okay, I really appreciate you having this conversation with us and encouraging others by notes. There's a lot out there. So how can people get in touch with you follow along with everything that you're doing and start getting connected to some really good resources?
Erica M. 51:06
Yeah, I would say number one is wolfies wish.com. And there's a resources page and blog page. Of course, we have a shop there. But then I'm on almost all the social media accounts as well. Well, these wish I was posed mostly to Instagram. So wolfies, underscore wish. And, yeah, it's not hard to find me.
Collin 51:30
Perfect. Well, Eric, I'll have all those links in the show notes and on our website, so people can start getting those resources. And start seeing all the awesome stuff that you have going on, I really want to thank you for taking time out of your out of your busy day to come and talk with us today and share about this, it really means a
Erica M. 51:45
lot to wrap up. Thank you for having me.
Collin 51:49
As Erica said multiple times, developing your own product is a grueling process, from the design to finding it a manufacturer to then getting it into production to then finding the market in the niche that it goes to. But as Erica also said, it's worth it when we have that inspiration, it's worth it when we find that drive and that reason for needing to do that. So whether you are looking to design your own product or add products to your business, the one question we have to always come back to is why why am I doing this? Why does this need to exist? Why is this going to help my clients, I help my business? What does it mean for us to do those things in our business? Once we can ground ourselves in that we have the motivation and the drive to continue and push forward. If you're interested in ordering from wolfies wish you can go to wolfies wish.com, and use the code, pet sitter all caps for 15% off all of your orders. We had these cards at the event that Megan and I hosted earlier in the year through our pet business and they really were a hit and people loved them and they got to take them home and have something that they could look at and affirm the feelings that they were going through. So I encourage you to go in look at those. We want to thank our sponsors for today's episode, time to pet and pet perennials for making it possible. And we really want to thank you so much for listening. We hope you have a wonderful rest of your week and we'll be back again soon.
