422: A Pet Loss Memorial Service For You
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Do you give yourself time to grieve when a client’s pet, or your own pet, passes away? As busy business owners, we rarely take time to ourselves, and often use our business to bury the emotions and feelings. Clients do the same, and often need prompting and encouragement to mourn their pet. Today, we reflect on our recent pet loss memorial events and what we included. We also invite you to participate in a memorial service just for you.
Main Topics:
Reflections on our recent memorial events
What we include
Why pet professionals need these too
A memorial service walk through
Main Takeaway: We grieve, deeply, the loss of a client’s pet. We hurt for their owners and cry for their absence. We must give ourselves permission to feel the emotions and grieve their loss.
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Episode 110: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/episodes/110-pet-loss-and-grieving-with-coleen-ellis
Episode 320: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/episodes/320
Episode 325: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/episodes/325
Episode 341: https://www.petsitterconfessional.com/episodes/341
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
Provided by otter.ai
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
pet, grieve, life, find, pet sitters, rainbow bridge, friend, grief, day, place, memories, heart, remember, embrace, clients, silence, run, years, symbolically, feel
SPEAKERS
Collin, Meghan
Meghan 00:00
Oh, hi there. Welcome to Episode 422 of pet sitter confessional. Thank you for being here today. Thank you also to pet sitters associates and our Patreon members for supporting today's show. Today we're going to talk about a pet loss memorial service for you. Before we do that, I'd like to tell you about our friends at pet sitters associates. As pet care professionals, your clients trust you to care for their for refill new members. And that's why pet sitters Associates is here to help. for over 20 years, they have provided 1000s of members with quality pet care insurance. Because you work in the pet care industry, you can take your career to the next level with flexible coverage options, client connections and complete freedom in running your business. Learn why pet sitters Associates is the perfect fit for you and get a free quote at pets@llc.com. You can even get a discount by joining when you click a membership Pet Sitter confessional and using the discount code confessional when you go to checkout, check out the benefits of membership and insurance. Once again, at pets@llc.com. We just wrapped up our second pet loss memorial service of the year, we held one in each of our service areas. And in the service area that we live in. This was actually the second year that we have hosted it, we wanted to do this as a way to connect the community in a very unique way that not a lot of people think about or give a lot of credence to. Because when you lose a family member, it's acknowledged you can take a couple days off work, not a big deal. When you lose a pet. It's much different. There's not a real community support that comes around you and says it's okay that you feel this way I acknowledge your feelings, they are real.
Collin 01:33
We had we had clients who would have a pet pass away. And we saw how hard it was for them to readjust to normal life for life without their pet. For a while we set calendar reminders, and we'd call them on the anniversary of their pet passing away just to let them know that we're thinking of their pet to to encourage them and to share in their grief. Because we know that all of a sudden that pet disappears out of somebody's life. And the thing they had to do if you have an older dog or an older cat is gonna have to shuffle or watch where you step because of where they like to lay. And these little behaviors that we do that we adapt to their presence, all of a sudden they disappear. We still do do those things. And it reminds us of who they are, we see the bed, we find the leash, we look at the poop bags, all these little things come up. And so we wanted to do something that could help more people. And that's really why we wanted to start hosting these kinds of events.
Meghan 02:25
We really wanted to keep these very simple because our goal is just to have a place and a space where people have permission to grieve because we often don't give ourselves permission, not just us as pet sitters when a client passes away, but regular pet parents as well. We often don't set aside time we avoid the tears, we let the non pet population dictate how we are to grieve and act. And for us, Simplicity is key to this. We don't want a bunch of vendors, Hawking their wares and showcasing things I mean, if you want to host a pet loss memorial service, and you want to do that that is a okay. But for us, we just really wanted this to be simple. And also because the more complicated something gets, the less likely that we're actually able to do it.
Collin 03:09
Truthfully, that's really a big portion of this, right? Yeah, I
Meghan 03:13
mean, if we had a bunch of vendors, and we made this into a whole big production, it would get very stressful. And that's not really something that we are interested in. In this time. We want it very, very simple. So that meant stripping away everything that isn't needed and focusing on the core components, the community and time we provide the time people make the community. Then after that we can fill the time with intentional items. So during our pet loss memorial service, we had five pieces to our event. Along with the time for gathering we had a welcome a reading, a moment of silence, another reading and then a bubble release at the end. We do our events outside by a body of water. So for our first one, we did it by a lake. For the second one we did it by this big fountain. Water is very calming, and in quiet moments. It fills the silence with relaxing and grounding sounds. There were also birds chirping in the air and the wind was gently wrestling the leaves on the trees to is very peaceful.
04:12
Yeah, being out in nature is an extremely healing process. And especially for people who have lead very busy lives are distracting themselves with modern technology and running hither hither and yon, which is a phrase I find myself saying a lot more these days than I ever anticipated. But for us who are very busy and we lead busy lives, stepping outside, having time space, being in nature in a natural environment is very, very therapeutic. And we set up a very simple table we have a little table that we bring, and we basically have four things on it. We have a welcome board that we ask people to write the names of their pets on that they're there for we have a stack of greeting cards and affirmation cards for people to take. We have a basket of bubbles and tea lights. And we will also leave out blank letter templates for people to write a love letter for their Pet when they go home. And we've also added grieving materials from other businesses in the area, and really trying to provide helpful local resources for people to get connected with and continue to grow and grieve, even after they leave for that day. So as people arrive, we invite everybody to put the name of their pet or pets that they're there for. And then we ask them to look through the cards and the affirmations and take the ones that are really meaningful to them. We also ask them to take the bubbles for later and then light a tea light for their pet during the service. And then we wait for people to gather. And sometimes this part, this moment is actually the hardest for people, the tears start coming before anything has happened. And yet, it's because it's the biggest thing to have happened yet and their grieving process, because they showed up by them showing up, they realize that they are acknowledging that their pet is not with them anymore. They have faced their grief. Finally, they are embracing their grief, and they're not running away from it anymore. Symbolically, when they walk towards that table, and they stand there and silence. The enormity of the situation hits people. And they go this this is real. This is real. And it's one of the biggest steps many people make on their grieving journey.
Meghan 06:20
Well, and it can't even be as something as simple as showing up. There was a lady who last year who couldn't even talk she was just sobbing, but she showed up. And that was a big step for her. And it's the same for us busy pet professionals as well. We grieve deeply the loss of clients, pets, even our own pets. You know, we hurt for the owners, the clients, and we cry for the pets absence in our lives. We had a client's dog passed away recently, and they still had one dog they needed to care for. We'll never forget just how empty the house felt. It was it was almost silence when we walked in, even though they still had another dog. We cried in the doorway. We hugged and said hello to their dog. So when do we give ourselves time to process things? How do you go about finding the time and the space to heal, to grieve to mourn your own pets and the pets that you care for day in and day out
Collin 07:17
that we're running really busy businesses we're working 24/7 sunup to sundown and everything in between. A lot of times we feel like we don't have time to grieve, or we use our busyness to run away from our grief. And honestly, if we tried to grieve for every clients pet that we've ever lost all at the same time, we truthfully be overwhelmed, and we'd never be really finished grieving, it would just be one continuous cycle. But here's the thing. Grief is a continuous process. And it never truly ends. Our relationship with it changes over time as we change in response to the grief. So today, we want to invite you to a pet loss memorial service. Right now. We're inviting you to take the next 10 or 15 minutes to stop what you're doing. And do some some morning work to grieve together. So we want to welcome everybody today. And thank you so much for showing up showing up not just for yourself, but for the pet that you're here for, to remember them and to embrace them continually. We gather here today not only in the spirit of remembrance, but also in the spirit of healing and community. In this place of empathy and understanding. We come together as individuals united by a unique bond. The love we have for our dearly departed pets. These beloved creatures were more than just pets. They were treasured family members, steadfast companions and purveyors of unconditional love. As we stand in this safe place, let us remember that is not just a place to mourn the loss, but a place to celebrate the joy, laughter and even the little quirks that made our pets so special. During this time, we encourage you to embrace the collective comfort to share your stories find solace in the fact that you are not alone in your grief. This is a place where tears are understood, memories are cherished and where the healing process can begin. As we embark on this journey of acceptance and peace, let us hold close to our hearts. The loving legacies are very feathered, scaled or otherwise friends have left behind. Here we honor them. And here we find a pathway to healing united in our love and loss. Thank you for being here today and for supporting the community that is grieving together and for remembering the wonderful lives that have blessed ours. However briefly. You are here surrounded by people who have lost a pet. Look around and realize that you are not alone. And there is support here for
Meghan 09:57
you. When a parent passes away It is said that they go to the Rainbow Bridge, a meadow where animals wait for their humans to join them and the bridge that takes them all to heaven together. So I would like to read the Rainbow Bridge poem. Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those that were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing. They each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together. But the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance is bright eyes. Our intent is eager bodied quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group find over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted and when you and your special friend finally meet you clean together and joyous reunion never to be parted again. The Happy kisses rain upon your face. Your hands again caressed beloved head and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet. So long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross rainbow bridge together, never again to be separated.
Collin 11:30
Let's take a moment of silence to embrace the memories that the pets have left us with. Embrace the joy, the love the laughter and the memories that we will carry for the rest of our lives.
Meghan 11:52
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember. The first is a day blessed with happiness. When you bring home your young new friend, you may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets are down long research and finding a breeder. Or perhaps in a fleeting moment. You may have just chosen that silly looking mat in a shelter simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home and watch it explore and claim its special place and your hall or front room, and when you feel it brushed against you for the first time, it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come. The second day will occur eight or nine or 10 years later, it will be a day like any other routine and unexceptional. But for a surprising instant you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you want saw youth you will see slow deliberate steps where you want saw energy and you will see sleep where you want socked activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet and you may add a pill or two to his or her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself which boasts of a calming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling on and off until the third day finally arrives. And on this day, if your friend and God have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own on behalf of your lifelong friend and with the guidance of your own deepest spirits. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you, you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief or comfort you. But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherish through the many joyfilled years, you may find that a soul a bit smaller in size than your own seems to walk with you at times during the lonely days to come. And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen. You may feel something brush against your leg very, very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear perhaps dearest friend used to lay you will remember those three significant days, the memory will most likely be painful and leave an ache in your heart. But as time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache. But there will be I assure you a fourth day when along with the memory of your pet and piercing through the heaviness in your heart there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved and lost. This realization takes the form of a living love, like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted. This level will remain and grow and be there for us to remember. It is the love we have earned is the legacy of our pets that they leave with us when They go, and it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our beloved pets, it is a love we will always possess.
15:15
A key component of the time that we have together is giving ourselves permission to grieve and permission to accept what is going on around us. And one way to do that is through a bubble release. And so at the end of my reading, we're going to release some bubbles. And if you don't have bubbles with you at this exact time, what you can do is at the end of this reading, clap your hands, put them to your mouth, and exhale into your hands, and then open your hands and reach them upward
Collin 15:44
to the sky. Today, I symbolically release your beautiful spirit, to a place where there's no sadness, only happiness, asking you to watch over me in a much larger way. Today, I symbolically release your beautiful body to be in a place for all as well to run free to be as you were in a place where there is no age and no sickness. Today, I symbolically release you and your spirit. No, I will always hold your love and your presence close to my heart. I will cherish the time we had. I promise to remember the lessons that you taught me the memories we shared, and to honor your presence as the gift it was. Today, I give my heart permission to grieve and to mourn for you. This chapter in life we shared will always have your name on it held tightly as a part of my life story. And today, I thank you. I thank you for your unconditional love, your forgiveness, and the memories. As with these bubbles that we symbolically release, life is fragile. These are not meant to be held forever, but represent the same beautiful yet brief time we to shared together. Rest in peace, my beloved, as I symbolically honor you in this bubble release.
Meghan 17:13
Thank you for joining us today. Your feelings are real, they are valid. Give yourself permission to heal, to grieve to take the time to do the hard work of sitting with the feelings and then releasing them letting them go.
Collin 17:30
We'd love to hear about the pet that you are grieving today, who made such a powerful impact on your life who spurred you on to do new things, who guided you and protected you from those rough periods in your life and who you clung to. When you needed to most. We'd love to hear from you and the stories that you can share about them and the beautiful soul that they were and the memories that they are. You
Meghan 17:53
can email us at feedback at Pet Sitter confessional.com. Thank you to pet sitters associates for sponsoring today's episode. We'd also like to thank Coleen Ellis with two hearts pet loss center for the readings and to wolfies wish for some of the amazing affirmation cards that she provides. We will have links in the show notes to both of those resources. And thank you for taking the time, your special time with us today. We'll talk with you next time. Bye
